Savoring the Silence of a Noisy Life

Last night I got back from teaching, nursed Doodle, gave the girls good-night kisses and had my dinner.  As hubby put Doodle to bed, I sat down to write a blog post and nothing came to me.  I checked into Facebook and Twitter and read my emails then headed into bed.  As I lay there trying to fall asleep I pondered why I couldn’t come up with anything to write about and I realized most of posts are pre-written in my head while I lay in bed at night (as this one was!), while I feed Doodle early in the morning or when I’m in the shower (the exact place where Beyond Mommying was born, see "What it's All About").  I realized it’s the quiet.

DSC09656 I live in a noisy, noisy world of talking, crying, fussing, arguing, whining, and screaming not to mention the instruments, pots and pans, tap shoes and “learning toys” (hence why they made my "No Thank You List") which, while they provide all-day entertainment for my kids, drive me crazy.  So it's no surprise that when I finally gdo et to a place where it’s quiet and I’m alone with my thoughts, my mind goes crazy!

It's not that I don't like noise, in fact I’ve always loved background noise.  Growing up I would study with the TV or radio on.  Even now when the girls are sleeping and I’m working on the computer, I always have the TV on.  I don’t pay much attention but the noise is there (which also helps the kids sleep, I think).

The difference, though, between the background noise I create with music or TV and the noise which fills my home during most of the day is the attention required.  I can tune out the background noise, I can ignore what’s happening on the radio or TV, but I’m constantly aware (at least subconsciously) of the noises my children are making.  I’m constantly “on” and when I accidentally slip “off” and don’t pay close attention is when I catch my 3-year-old in my bathroom slathered in expensive lotion because I (apparently) told her she could get some lotion for her tummy.

It’s a hard thing to understand when you aren’t used to constant noise and being unable to “zone out” but those quiet and alone moments are magical.  Being able to focus on your own thoughts and let your mind wander to and fro, wherever it wants to go without interruption is a pretty great thing and something I’ve come to appreciate even more since embarking on my noisy (but wonderful) mommying adventure!


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