If You Love Me, Say My Name!

BlogHer Original Post

I realized the other day that my Crush says my name - often, fully and deliberately. It catches me mid-step and leaves me nearly speechless. The letters that would form the words to respond back to him are somehow suspended in my brain and then suddenly dropped on my tongue all out of sequence and awkward. I stumble. I stutter. Then I finally get it together to reply back, being sure to say his name as well. Suffice it to say, I love hearing my name. Any variation of it. My first name, middle name or even my last name preceded by 'Ms.' can be quite sexy when spoken in a guttural and flirty tone.

Image: Jack Dorsey via Flickr

I think about how often name calling changes once a romantic relationship gets to a certain stage. A birth given name gets shortened or just becomes a twisted variation of the original. Or, a name can be erased completely in place of 'boo,' 'sweetie' or some other sweet, syrupy moniker. Looking back, though, I realize that although I do like to use nicknames to serenade my Love, I also love to say his name - often, fully and deliberately. It's personal and it's sexy, especially when I'm whispering it into his ear.

Our names are given to us and used as a way to address, acknowledge, define and describe. Most of our parents took time in deciding what we would be called and the reasons are often sentimental, historical and deeply meaningful. So why would we not address our Love interest by their given name? When I meet someone and they immediately give me a nickname, I feel dismissed. It is almost as if me and my name have no significance. Almost like my presence or existence does not warrant the need to be acknowledged with my actual name. Instead, someone decides that they will call me what they think I should be called, wiping out my individuality.

When dealing with a Love, I have a need to be 'seen.' I need to know that I exist as a human being, especially in your world. Among other things, saying my name often shows me that I am important, respected and that you see me, heart and soul. It is an extension of myself, just like my hair or the clothes that I choose to wear. I need my Love to be cognizant of all of me, my entire being. So when I hear my name float off the tongue of my Crush, it makes everything stop and for a brief second our eyes meet and our souls dance for just a bit. So, yes, say my name, say my name.

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