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Saying goodbye

March 16, 2010 12:03 am by lovetheworld in Love & Sex
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I'm tired of being the one to break the silence. I'm tired of calling, tired of texting. Tired of being the one to remind you you're great when I'm not so sure that you are. I'm tired of being the one to make you laugh, of being the one to boost your spirits after you've hurt me yet again. I'm tired of wiping your tears, holding your hand, picking up the pieces. I'm tired of the lies and the tearful apologies. I'm tired of fighting for us when you don't. Grow up. Take responsibility. Take initiative. I'm tired of taking care of the immature boy that you are. Just once, I want to be swept off my feet. Is a love letter, a creative date, a surprise at my door so much to ask for? You've never done anything for me that I haven't done for you first. Well now I'm done writing letters, I'm done with romantic gestures, I'm done giving when all you do is take. Can't you try to make me feel special just once? Words are cheap and talk is easy. I'll miss the boy I wanted you to be. 

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justlinda
justlinda 14 pts

It took me 8 years to get up the nerve to sever it - to make the call that regardless of what he SAID, the actions never matched up and he just wasn't able to step up and be who I needed him to be.  He was Peter Pan and I was paying the mortgage and helping with homework and wiping noses and driving car-pool.  He was off sword fighting or whatever it is that Peter Pans do.

The end of those 8 years was 1991, nearly 2 decades ago.  Hindsight has validated I made the right move.  He's still Peter Pan, only an older, sadder version now.

However, when your'e in the midst of it, there is no crystal ball.  We hear those rare stories fo the ones who DO grow up and we wonder (and hope) that we have one of those, maybe we should just hang on and see, try some more, wait.  Maybe.  Who knows.

No body really knows - not even the person in the situation.  So I won't dispense advise.  But I feel your pain, I've lived that pain.

Good luck.  Don't let self-doubt take you down.

JustLinda

 fabulously imperfect Nothing to See Here... Just Linda ( http://justlinda.net )

Twitter @JustLindaSTL ( http://twitter.com/JustLindaSTL )

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