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The often-dreaded moment arrives. It is Thanksgiving and the family has assembled. Just before the eating begins there is a silence. Grace. Do you say it? Do you not say it? It is Thanksgiving after all, time to give thanks. But who says it, and what do they say? Oh, and whom do they thank?
First, if you are a believer, obviously your grace will most likely be said to God. But there may also be others to thank. If you are not a deist, there is still room for gratitude and taking time to say it out loud. It is a soulful gesture, regardless of ones tradition. And it feels good.
For some, saying grace is easy. A spontaneous well-timed grace rolls off the tongue. For most of us, that isn't the case. There are some obvious options.
#1 - Pick someone in advance to say grace. It's kinder if you give them a little advance notice to get their thoughts together. It doesn't have to be the head of the household. It might even be a child.
#2 - Perhaps everyone gets to say something. Consider going around the table asking people to say what they are most thankful for. Not everyone is comfortable with this, so make sure that you let folks know that if they do not want to speak their grace, just to say "amen" or "thank you" and the turn will pass to the next person. That is pretty much what happens at Pixie36's house. Saying Thanksgiving grace is a tradition, and here is what happens each year:
My husband then starts saying grace and it is passed on around the table each one of us saying what we are thankful for and my entire family always makes sure to add to their grace thanking me for preparing such a beautiful feast and for all the trouble I go through for them. My family always tells me they know I love them, because I have always made a safe home filled with love for them.
#3 - Write down things to bethankful for on strips of paper. But them in a bowl and pass them around teh table during grace. Each person reads one thanksgiving out loud and passes the bowl to the next person.
#4 - Honor the family tradition. Elise speaks about saying the traditional Catholic grace each year:
Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts, for which we are about to receive, from Thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, Amen.
That's our grace. Simple isn't it? Yet whenever I hear it or say it, it means so much more. I feel my family, alive or long passed, with me at the table or in a city far away. For this one simple prayer ties us together through time and distance.
#5 - Explore grace from different traditions and different families:
about.com featured these three very different graces (among others):
NATIVE AMERICAN
Creator, Earth Mother,
we thank you for our lives and
this beautiful day. Thank You for the bright sun
and the rain we received last night.
Thank You for this circle of friends
and the opportunity to be together.
We want to thank You especially at this time
for the giveaway of their lives made by the
chickens, beets, carrots, grains and lettuce.
We thank them for giving of their lives
so we may continue our lives through this
great blessing.Please help us honor them
through how we live our lives.FROM THICH NAHT HANH, A BUDDHIST MONK FROM VIETNAM
This food is the gift of the whole universe - the earth, the sky, and much hard work. May we live in a way that makes us worthy to receive it. May we transform our unskillful states of mind, especially our greed. May we take only foods that nourish us and prevent illness. We accept this food so that we may realise the path of practice.
PAGANISM AND WICCA
A Prayer to the Earth - Mealtime Blessing
Corn and grain, meat and milk,
upon my table before me.
Gifts of life, bringing sustenance and strength,
I am grateful for all I have.
Julie and Peter have a fine blog entry that includes graces from several traditions. Julie adds
My sense is that most families no longer include saying grace together as one of their family rituals. And yet, how do we teach our children where their food comes from, and how lucky they are to have food on their plates, without saying thank you out loud to the Earth and the
