The Scars We Hide

When I was about five years old, I snuck downstairs in the middle of the night to watch television.  This was 1978.  Back then, networks used to go off the air in the middle of the night.  I was only able to find one channel still broadcasting.  It was a movie.  I figured what the hell, I'm up.  Let's give her a go.

More than three decades later, I can still recall vividly the absolute terror I felt watching that movie about some crazy scientist who turns people into snakes.  I couldn't move from the couch, too terrified to even sneak back upstairs to my bed.  I had nightmares for years.

Looking back, I wasn't even sure if there was such a movie.  Perhaps the whole thing had been a bad dream?  I mean, who would have actually put out a movie about people turning into snakes? The 1970s drug culture would be the obvious answer. Yet thanks in large part to the plethera of channels that now broadcast 24-7, I actually spotted the object of my childhood trauma some time ago. As I sat through the movie, I couldn't help but laugh at the special effects and note: "Hey!  It's 'Face' from the A-Team!"  (Dirk Benedict).  Who knew?

The name of the movie is SSSSSS.  Really.  That's what they came up with. Like I said. The 1970s drug culture.  Thanks for the memories, fellas.  And don't even get me started on the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I had to leave the room screaming when Violet turned into a blueberry and nearly exploded.

Why the hell wasn't I watching Sesame Street?


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