In Search of Cinematic Spinsters and Unmarried Women
by Gena Haskett

I never intended to be a Spinster. I thought that I would get married. I never for a second thought of myself in the image of an "Old Maid." Hair in a bun, sucked up cheeks and bifocals. I'm older and a wee bit wiser. I have removed the last of the illusions of finding Mr. Right or "the one and only." I have even moved pass finding a somebody to love. I accept that it may or may not happen.

In any case, I am done collection frog memories.

Cultural Sanctioned Images of Spinsters
When I started thinking about my concepts of spinsterhood I had a lot of powerful images and media messages that flooded my consciousness. Spinsters are old and ugly and they turn mean or unstable without a man.

My mind can see cartoons with the Sea Hag and Alice the Goon as spinster role models. The many variations of the shushing sexually repressed librarian. The Jane Austin books that put the word out that you better hook up with someone or you might have to depend on the kindness of flipped out relatives or dark, powerful but aloof men. I'm thinking there has got to be a positive spinster image somewhere in my mind. Here is an example with Bette Davis in "Now Voyager"


Um, for those that haven't seen the movie it is a wonderful film but to tell more would spoil it. But the way she looked in that scene? Spinsterville.

From the theater there is that poor soul in Tennessee William's Summer and Smoke, Rosalind Russell in the movie Picnic where she practically begs a guy to marry her to keep her from being one of the "unwanted." and a boat load of Katherine Hepburn movies that start her off as a spinster but some how she gets hooked up with her unexpected man by the end of the movie. Sometimes he will even let her be what she dreams of, so long as she make room for him.

A Little History & Positive Cultural Images of Spinsters?

I needed help to understand what was going on. I found an article by Deborah J. Mustard, California State University Los Angeles entitle: Spinster: An Evolving Stereotype Revealed Through Film. It was originally written for the Journal of Media Psychology Winter 2000. She did a good job of giving me a context to understand why I was having so much trouble being able to visually positive images of unmarried women.

"Modern American culture has raised generations of women who believed that their true and most important role in society was to get married and have children. Anything short of this role was considered abnormal, unfulfilling, and suspect. This female stereotype has been exploited and perpetuated by some key films in the late 40’s and early 50’s. But more recently we have seen a shift in the cultural view of the spinster. The erosion of the traditional nuclear family, as well as a larger range of acceptable life choices, has caused our perceptions of unmarried women to change.

The film industry has reflected this shift with updated stereotypes that depict this cultural trend. The shift in the way we perceive spinsters is the subject of current academic research which shows that a person’s perception of particular societal roles influences the amount of stress or depression they experience when in that specific role. Further, although the way our culture perceives spinsters and the way the film industry portrays them may be evolving, we still are still left with a negative stereotype."

Film and theater reflected the culture identities and society themes that came from religion, from paternal institutions and from women themselves. Having a husband and family (if you wanted that) was desirable; really, not knocking happy families. Need more of them.

But if you didn't want that lifestyle, if you wanted to pursue a career or an adventure or you just needed more solitude in your life then it took a lot of moxie for women to get around that huge cultural imprint. So are there any positive movie images of Spinsters?

Well, kinda. Rachel, Rachel from 1968 about a 35 year old school teacher in a small town that has to choose the way she wants to live her life.

In 1978 there was An Unmarried Woman who, technically is not a spinster but she does have to recreate her life after her husband drops her for another woman 

More contemporary in 2008 is a movie called "Single, A Documentary Film" that talks about recognizing that millions of us will not be married. What does that mean to be single and how is it expressed in these times? Here is the trailer:

 


A far cry from poor Charlotte huh?

Yo, What About Bloggers Eh?

Another Working Mom did a review of three movies with spinster-ish themes.

There are vast number of women bloggers reclaiming the "S-word" and holding it as a badge of honor. The Spinster Girl's Guide to Life on navigating this world coming into view. One way is by telling your unfiltered story.

Over at the Women's History Project blog  there is an brief interview with Charles J. Shields of a biography of To Kill A Mocking Bird's Harper Lee. What do we know of her life?  Well she lives it on her terms, in her own self determined privacy. She may or may not be a Spinster.

SueBob Davis At Red Stapler has a few words to say about the men she has known and how she managed not to get married.

So what movies or plays have you seen that culturally influenced your thought about being single or married or any permutation in-between?

Gena Haskett is not sure she is old enough or skinny enough to be a Spinster but she does write at Out On The Stoop and PCCLibTech

Submitted by Gena Haskett (view blog) on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 8:34pm

Comments

 

Maybe you just need to look back further...

There's a whole heap of great spinsters in fairytales - it's just that many of them are called witches.

Check out Madam Mim in 'The sword in the stone', or Julie Andrews in bed knobs and broomsticks.

Or that awesome poem 'When i grow old, I shall wear purple'.

 

Submitted by kazari on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 22:07
 

Madam Mim Was Fiesty

I'll give ya that and she had powers. But I'd put her in the Sea Hag/Alice the Goon side of the fence.

I are right on the money with Bed Knobs and Broomsticks but it was Angela Lansbury as Miss Price the modern witch apprentice. I did forget about her and she was single woman.

Then there is Aunt Clara from Bewitched. She was my favorite character next to Uncle Arthur. But she fit the stereotype of being dingy and needing a great deal of help. Clara had a heart of gold and was a grand old dame.

I found the author of the poem, "Warning, When I Get Older I Shall Wear Purple". Her name is Jenny Joseph and here is a BBC interview with her http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/2004_08_wed_05.shtml

Gena - Out On The Stoop

Submitted by Gena Haskett on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 04:41
 

Old maids look a lot like this married woman

Marriage sure isn't a guarantee for or against anything. I'm married to a man, and I still turned mean and unstable. (Cackle.) Marriage is great if it works out, but I'd rather live in a world that did not tie social and financial security to a patriarchal religious invention. I always swore I'd never get married, as I didn't want to add to the problem. My husband, however, reminded me that I wouldn't have to testify against him in court if we tied the knot, so it seemed worth pursuing. I kid. Really, I hope that we do evolve as a society to get to the point where marriage is an option for any adult, done out of free will and not tied to benefits.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

Submitted by Suzanne Reisman on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 12:26
 

My Crush was Katherine Hepburn

I had a girl crush on Katherine Hepburn all through jr high and high school, esp the roles that showed her single and in charge (though, yeah, she usually ended up with a guy by the end of the film).  She was allowed to be smart, funny and completely unique.  Most of the single women I saw in the media were obsessed with shopping and men.  She wasn't.

Funny enough, I was blogging just yesterday about how happy I am that I ended up with the life I have.  Being single isn't easy, sure.  But I wouldn't trade it for a life of suburban emptiness.

 

 

SINgleGIRL

Sex, Lies and Dating in the City
http://sex-lies-dating.blogspot.com/

Submitted by SINgleGIRL on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 14:38
 

Spinsters and such

I remember a Hallmark movie with Glenn Close-Sarah Tall and Proud or Tall and Something (maybe Plain, yes that was it). It was during the pioneer times and the spinster (Close) answered an ad to help a widower man with two small children manage his home on a dusty prairie but she got her man in the end but worked like a mule for it-literally !!

And then there was Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction ! She was a spinster. An unhappy one.

Let's not forget Mammy in Gone with The Wind. She was happy.

Speaking of broomsticks, there was Mary Poppins. Yes..supercalifragalisticexpyalladocious (sic). Just pass the sugar. Or the chocolate in my case.

Submitted by BrownImani on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 19:19
 

Sarah Plain and Tall - Beautiful Movie

The cinematography and the pace of telling the story was just right.

Minor quibble, Sarah was a spinster but she took a chance by getting on the train the train to meet the man in hopes of matrimony. It was a gutsy thing for her to do. But the alternative was to stay at home with the aunts and be...alone.

They couple did have a written courtship and I don't think saying yeah to Christopher Walken is all that difficult. In the spirit of the times it was a very progressive thing for her to do but the goal was to get married with someone suitable. She found love instead.

Good movie.
Gena - Out On The Stoop

Submitted by Gena Haskett on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 20:02
 

There's also this movie: Aunt Mame

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051383/plotsummary

 I loved it because it's the single, older aunt that tries to knock the conventionality out of her nephew.

 

Submitted by kazari on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 20:50
 

"Single" a documentary film...

I'm the co-producer of "Single - a documentary film....so thank you, Gena for the unsolicited "shout out" about the film in your very well written post. :)

One of the main reasons my partner, Richard Atkinson, and I wanted to produce this film was to break through the tired old stereotypes and show that women (and men!) today have more lifestyle choices than ever before and that although most of us enjoy being coupled, you CAN be single and happy. And...to show how the complexities of modern life have changed the game dramatically.

Check out my recent (but very edited) appearance on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet where I emphasized that sentiment on national tv:

http://www.mandjshow.com/videos/single-in-america-continued/

Right now, the film is exclusively available on DVD through our web site (http://www.singlefilm.com). I welcome any and all feedback from your readers who check it out. It's been so personally rewarding when single people tell me how much the film has changed their perspective and feelings about being unmarried.

Jane Scandurra

Submitted by SingleDoc on Fri, 10/03/2008 - 12:42
 

Single a documentary film

Wow....this is a very profound article Gina.

The trailer is available on you tube and everyone I know who's seen the film tells me it leads to hours of passionate conversation among married and unmarried.

I liked Susan Reisman's "on the mark comments" but I'm still pondering over "the campaign for unshaved snatch"........has this group gained momentum under the Bush administration?

Submitted by JOSH on Sun, 10/05/2008 - 16:25
 

I Cannot Speak for CUSS

I am gonna have to pony up cash to purchase that DVD. It will be an issue with the Boomers coming over the horizon.

The way I see it as the price of personal care services and items rises in conjunction with the loss of discretionary spending, I'm sure we will see the decline of bare labia both majora and minora.

I say let it grow, let it flow.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

Submitted by Gena Haskett on Sun, 10/05/2008 - 16:52
 

Single a documentary film

Gena,

Thank you for such a full and detailed answer. Let's hope personal income and the economy improve and inflation abates.  I appreciate your implied point that if we  use less energy (electric or plastic disposable)we will reduce our own personal carbon foot print. Your out of the box thinking should be put forward as legislation in this highly charged election year.

Best

Josh

Submitted by JOSH on Sun, 10/05/2008 - 20:16
 

Hosting a discussion on "Single"

Gena, because of this entry, I'm hosting a viewing and discussion on the "Single" documentary you mentioned. It's not for a few weeks, but I'm looking forward to hearing the guests' thoughts.

A. L. Venable is a Random Citizen. She primarily writes at Dimple and a Smirk (dot) com and Our PDX Network.

Submitted by alvenable on Tue, 10/07/2008 - 21:06
 

Excellent - I Have Your A Question or Two

Being single does not negate the need for community or friends that can back you. So outside of the marriage and family structures how will single folks re-define friends, good friends and those that support you through difficult times.

There is also a question about new kinds of living arraignments. Some live single, other by financial necessity might be looking at co-housing or communal living.

I have a feeling there will be so many others questions that leap ahead of these to the point where you are gonna have to kick folks out the door as the discussion continues.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

Submitted by Gena Haskett on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 03:51
 

Thank you!

Gena, I'll definitely have to pose those questions to the group. So far, of the folks who have RSVP'd, it's predominantly female, which isn't much of a surprise to me. That said, I'm looking forward to hearing the male perspective on these issues. There definitely doesn't seem to be as much of a stigma attached if a male is a "permanent bachelor." Hmm, I'll have to ask about that perception, too. All good stuff.

A. L. Venable is a Random Citizen. She primarily writes at Dimple and a Smirk (dot) com and Our PDX Network.

Submitted by alvenable on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 10:45
 

NO happily Ever After

Great points! We've bought into the notion that being single is a TEMPORARY place of UNCOMPLETENESS on our way to the BIG PRIZE: couplehood/familyhood.  Even when movies are breaking molds about fitting in, FIONA still marries Shrek and has babies, SJP gets the guy at the end of the movie. I write about this all the time at http://specialktreatment.blogspot.com/... The ideal is marriage...That's why we don't see spinsters in stories...

Submitted by SpecialK on Wed, 10/08/2008 - 19:33
 

Thank you for this post. I

Thank you for this post.

I am 37 and single and no plans or prospects for a husband in the future. I am the youngest of six and the only one who has never married or had children. All my friends are either married, engaged or in committed relationships so I really am the odd one out!

I have mixed feelings about being single and about the very real prospect that I might never marry or even be in a committed relationship again (long back story there). As I am solitary by nature I enjoy and value the solitude of singlehood but there are times I'm gripped by anxiety - how will I feel when I'm 45, 50, 60? Sometimes I long for a boyfriend/partner and other times I breathe a sigh of relief that I live alone and can do whatever I want, whenever I want.

I'm definitely going to save up my pennies to get that documentary. As I get older I feel a growing need to connect with or hear from other single women and how they experience being single.

Submitted by IshtarM on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 03:20