Search Terms Part II

In case you missed it, about a month ago, I listed the search terms that readers used in whatever is was they were looking for, but found my blog instead.  It intrigued me so much, that I did a post about it. You can read Part I here.

Here are more search terms that people have used and they got my giggle box turned upside down, so I had to share.  Again, my responses are in italics.

NOTE: I have typed them exactly as they were presented to my stats on wordpress. I have not altered grammar, nor punctuation, much to my dismay!

 grndma has left her old rocking chair
(First of all, it's spelled, "GRANDMA."  Second of all, did you tie her to the rocking chair or something? If so, I'm assuming that she either escaped or just probably needed to go out and get some fresh air. I wasn't there, so why are you asking? 

My passport was stolen
(Blame the Russians <---see previous post) 

What address can you send a letter to the duck dynasty if you don't have facebook?
(540 Mouth of Cypress Rd., West Monroe, LA 71292...or, send it to me and I'll drive it over. They don't live too far down the highway from where I am)

 Clean up mother's poop
(Yes, grab some liquid cleaner, preferably bleach, some paper towels, a hefty bag, and don't forget to wear a mask to block the stench. By the way, next time you might want to invest in some Depends. Just saying.) 

movie murder heard over baby monitor
(I'm sure this is a regular occurrence because movies are murdered constantly by horrible actors. However, I'm not sure any of them have been heard on a baby monitor.) 

Big Tex Tarp
(I'm not sure why you need a tarp this big, but check with the State Fair of Texas. I'm sure it's available now that they've officially buried Big Tex. Yes, they did. Click here for proof.)

Poop pants while running
(Sounds like you've gotten yourself in quite a pickle there Ace, but don't feel bad. Shit happens.)

I want to sprain my ankle so if I kick a tree will it work?

(Seriously? Apparently, you have other issues that you can use as an excuse (research psychological disorders). Just a guess. Or, you can just fall down a cliff like I did.  Read here to see how it's done.)

EL James interview murmured
(Well, she admits that she's shy and shy people tend to murmur in uncomfortable situations. I guess being an overnight sensation and multi-millionaire hasn't changed that awkward characteristic of hers. But, then again, why would she care? If you haven't read the book, I provide some spoilers here.)

Inside of persons gall bladder
(You can probably find an episode of that on the Discovery Channel, because I can't show you mine. It's been long gone, but you can read about my experience here.)

We heart it scary
(Ummmmm....ok?)

I have a surprise for you it's poop
(With friends like you, who needs enemies?)

Baby oops that wasn't a fart
(Not very romantic, are you? Although, "Baby" was a nice touch) 

Baby farts
(Yes, they sometimes do that. Poop too. So I hear)

Can I have your number can I have your poop
(No and No. But seriously, someone actually used this as a search term? Creepy!) 

That's it, so far.  Have y'all had any funny search terms that you'd like to share?

 

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