In Season: Apples

Sometimes in life it’s better to be uninformed. The lack of knowledge allows us the freedom to make decisions differently than we might make otherwise. Sometimes these decisions have disastrous results, sometimes they have serendipitous results. Such was the case when I decided to make this recipe for apple pie bars. I only glanced at the recipe as I was wooed by the title and the picture, but I assumed it would be a simpler version of apple pie...in a bar form. Generally, bar recipes are easier and less time consuming (think brownies and blondies). I was also drawn to this recipe because bars are portable and bite-sized. I could have apple pie without the fuss and this sounded like the perfect recipe for that, I thought. Well, not so fast, sister.

The bad news. My biggest gripe about the recipe is that the alleged preparation time is one hour. Unless you are an octopus or have a flying monkey for an assistant, I have no idea how you can prepare the recipe in one hour. In fact, as the clock was ticking by, I became rattled and turned into a crazy person. I was racing around my kitchen, trying to beat the clock, just so I could reassure myself that I do know what I’m doing in the kitchen. It looked like a baking crime scene when it was all said and done. I would say allow a good hour and a half or more to get the recipe together.

Now, the good news. If you are looking for a different take on apple pie and you have the time, inclination and low enough cholesterol level, and decide to make these apple pie bars, you will be rewarded. Imagine your house smelling like heaven. Because, as you know, if there is a heaven, it smells like still warm, baked apple pie.

But that’s not all. Despite the fact that there are close to seven sticks of butter in the recipe (but just don’t think about that, okay?), the apple pie bars aren’t particularly rich or heavy, yet a little goes a long way. The serving size is two-inch squares, which is the perfect size for a snack or dessert, especially with a tiny scoop of ice cream (think salty caramel or vanilla). I used a pan smaller than the one called for in the recipe, but I still got 40 bars from the pan. From that I gave nice little gifts to three neighbors, two small gifts to friends and Todd and I enjoyed them for dessert on two separate nights (and one of those nights we had a guest over to have dinner). Pretty good haul if you think about it. I think the bars are also a genius idea for a get together. I like the fact, too, that they will last for four days at room temperature in an air tight container or they can be frozen for up to a month. Give some away, enjoy some for a few days and save some to munch on over the month. A win-win situation, really.

The recipe calls for using boring Granny Smith apples. I used a mix of four varieties: Eastern, Gala, Granny Smith and Stayman. The three varieties other than the Granny Smith are fairly sweet. I think using all Granny Smith apples would have made the apple mixture lean toward the tart side, especially since the recipe does not include much sugar to sweeten the apples.

By the way, do you know how many varieties of apples there are in the United States or the world? Me either, until now. According to my always-accurate Google research, there are approximately 2,500 varieties grown in the U.S. and approximately 7,500 varieties of apples grown world-wide. 2,500 and 7,500, respectively, people. That is a lot of damn apple varieties. However, sadly, only 100 varieties are grown commercially and one of the "best" that is grown is Granny Smiths? What the heck? If, purportedly, 100 varieties are grown commercially, why, then, do we rarely ever see more than about five or so varieties at the grocery store and maybe only 10-15 at the orchards? Where are all of these apples? Seriously, where are they? I want to know. I'm talking to you, Mr. Commercial Apple Grower.

Sorry about that. Back to cooking notes. The shortbread dough for the crust was stickier than other shortbread doughs I’ve made, so I put it in the refrigerator for about fifteen minutes prior to baking. I baked the crust in a 375 degree convection oven. Oops. Evidently the crazy person who happened to look like me and who was doing the baking forgot that when using convection the temperature should be adjusted down, usually about 25 degrees. Thankfully, sanity returned and I cooked the crust for only 17 minutes, instead of the full 20 minutes. Everything was alright, although maybe slightly overbaked. The fact that the dough was a bit thicker due to the smaller pan size probably worked in my favor here, too. For the topping, I substituted pecans for the walnuts. There was about a cup or so of leftover topping, which was due in part to the smaller pan size, but other reviewers commented on having leftover topping as well. I’m figuring out a use for it, though, don’t you worry. I’m not letting butter, oats, brown sugar, cinnamon and nuts go to waste. No way.

So, despite my whining about the time investment, and my momentary lapse in sanity at times while making these, I think the recipe is worth the effort. Of course, now you’re fully informed, so who knows what might happen when you make them. Let me know…and let me know if you know where all those apples are.

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