As Seen On TV!

I was just sitting here thinking about how, as depicted on the teevee, doctors and lawyers are always sleep deprived, food deprived, and having sex in closets and copy rooms.

 

Um. Aren't these the people we're trusting with our very lives? Our children's lives? Our most private and confidential biznissss?

So why are these doctors (and nurses too! I loves the nurses!) on 24/36/48 hour shifts, sleeping in snatches of 10 minutes here and 30 minutes there? Why are the lawyers (or at least their minions and researchers) working 20 hours a day buried in books?

 

I'm not saying anything about the sex, because cool. You gotta get what you can get when you can get it especially when you get to be of a certain age.

 

I want my doctor, nurse, and/or lawyer to be getting a good 7-8 hours of sleep and at least 2 nutritious meals per day. Seriously, if I'm on the operating table and someone's hand is on my actual heart or in my intestines (EW), I don't want them passing out from low blood sugar or doing the little head-bob nod-off.

Is all I'm saying.

 


 

 

Speaking of AS SEEN ON TV, a couple years ago I thought I might do a review blog on those products. I'll be honest, some of them look COOL AS HELL and I've wondered if they actually work (I am currently interested in the STONE WAVE so I can have gourmet dishes IN MINUTES from the microwave with this magical pot!). Sometimes it's hard to find a REAL review that is not just someone paid by the ASOTV people to say good things, so I thought I'd share the Real Story with those products I've been 'gifted' with.

 

GRATER PLATER:

 

Does NOT WORK FOR GARLIC, no matter what Billy Mays showed you (RIP, Billy). Well, I mean it works if you want a big messy pile of mush that does NOT scrape together and stays all stuck between the little ceramic spikes. It does work pretty well on a block of parm cheese, but that's really the only thing for which I ever found it useful.

 

STRAP PERFECT BRA CLIP

 

This actually DOES work...although it didn't give me cleavage like the girl on the front of the package. But let's be honest, my cleavage is already pretty awesome. This bra clip is especially good if you don't want to spend $30 on a new bra and the straps on your favorite old creaky bra are stretched out and falling off your shoulders all the time. So yeah, it works, but you could probably save your money and just head to the office supply store and buy a box of these for the same exact effect: 

 

 

PED EGG and HEELTASTIC

 

 

 

The Ped Egg and Heel Tastic are actually two of my VERY FAVORITE products! I have the ped egg AND the Ped Egg on a stick, and they feel nice on my feets (also EW FEET). Heeltastic is a little greasy, but it has a nice scent and it does make my heels and the sides of my feet soooo smooooooov! (see how I got a little hip-hoppy there? I know. I am JUST THAT COOL)

These? I recommend. For reals yo.

 

 

THE MAGIC BULLET:  

 

No, not the kind of Magic Bullet you might find at Christie's Toy Box or adameve.com. The kind that you make food and drink with. I do not personally own one of these, but I have a friend who does and uses it often. I have also been a recipient of the delicious slushy alcoholic beverages that can be produced IN SECONDS, I TELL YOU, SECONDS! And we know sometimes in serious drinking fun, seconds count! Also good for chopping or smushing a small amount of some food rather than dragging out the big food processor. I would recommend the investment.

 

ICE CREAM MAGIC

 

PIECE. OF. SHIT. Bought one for my middle niece - it's really craptastic. I mean, I figured it would be, but I thought shaking your own ice cream would be fun for her. 

NO. Just no. Unless you want to pass it around for an hour letting everyone take a turn to make what amounts to 3 bites of "ice cream".

 

OXI CLEAN

 

My first real, meaningful contact with the late, great (loud and annoying) Billy Mays. Actually I love Oxi-Clean and I buy laundry detergent with oxi-clean added nearly every time. It doesn't work as well for me as it did on the teevee for Billy, but it does work well and since Josh is in diapers and all his stuff ends up smelling like pee, oxi-clean is a lifesaver. Well, smell-saver anyway.

 

SMOOTH AWAY

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHGHHHH! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHH! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OMG MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP I CONFESS TO EVERYTHING ANYTHING PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY MAKE IT STAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHPPPPPPPPP!

Just sandpaper your legs and pour alcohol on them. Same difference.

 

TOPSY TURVY

 

Well, we tried the tomatoes and strawberries...no go. I don't know if the birds ate the stuff or what, but they didn't really grow at all. 

 

CAFE CUP

 

Now THIS is a favorite of mine - I was given a Keurig for Christmas but sometimes I just don't have the extra $$ or am too lazy to go to the grocery store when I run out of k-cups, and I use these frequently with my regular old Maxwell House.

 

 


 

I have no desire to try a shake-weight, or that neck/chin exercise thingy, or spray-on Gray Away hair stuff, talking toilet paper, that weird boob "Kush" deal or bumpits, but I wouldn't mind trying a Flexi-mop or Nicer Dicer or Spin Spa.

Tell me which ones YOU have tried - any recommendations??

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