rebellious thinker
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I am a fifty-year-old woman, mother of two daughters (a twenty-something and a teen). As they have been growing up I have been a stay-at-hom...
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Self-Pity Party

July 19, 2008 6:48 pm by rebellious thinker in Life
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I feel that I deserve a bout of self-pity. I have been so strong, so together, so responsible, so stable for so long that I need a break. I need a break to collapse into myself, collapse into the weight of being alone, of feeling alone, of being tired of taking care of my daughters and myself with no shoulder to lean on, day after day. Is something wrong with that? 

Don’t I deserve a patch of self-pity to counter the up-beatedness that I have been inhabiting lately? Do I always have to feel like a living self-help book? Can’t I regress into just plain pain without feeling the need for remedies? Why can’t I just be without feeling that I am failing if I am not focused on picking myself up? Why do I need an aspirin if I have an ache? Why can’t it work its way through me, do whatever it needs to do, and then be released when we’re both ready?

Why can’t all moods and feelings be equally valid? Why is only the positive respected? Don’t we all need some downtime, some time to recoup? I mean isn’t that what vacations are for? So there it is. A self-pity party is really a mini-vacation of the body and mind.

And I've made my reservation.

Laura, blogging about up-time and down-time and everything in-between at www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com.

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rebellious thinker
rebellious thinker 5 pts

Sugar Mama,

Thanks for coming to my party! This requirement to always be upbeat, is, to me, what brings many of us down. How can we possibly be happy and soothed all of the time in the face of the life? Maybe self-pity is hibernation of the mind, you know, a chance to gain strength.

A friend of mine keeps telling me to try prozac, but I think that your idea of mac 'n cheese on the couch for a few days sounds more therapeutic, and, ultimately, safer.

My older daughter worked at a book store last year and she said that people were constantly looking for the self-help books. Self-help: it's in the mac mix! 

Laura (www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com ( http://www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com/ ))

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Sugar Mama
Sugar Mama 5 pts

I raised two girls by myself, too. And here I am with two more kids and separated. Even if we eventually get back together, which seems to be the goal right now, I am left alone with them most of the time as my husband is a pilot and leaves town for five days at a time. It's not easy. And sometimes, like this week, I stay home on the couch eating Mac & Cheese morning, noon, and night. I feel pitiful, but like you, I'm feeling like I'm allowed that every now and then.

I had some issues with anger. I didn't want to self-help my way out of it any more. I wanted to just be angry, and I finally allowed myself that, too.

http://livingintheory.blogspot.com/2008/06/anger.h...

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