Send Fear to Time Out & Just Go For It: Dr. Lissa Rankin’s Audition For Oprah
By Lissa Rankin on June 01, 2010
Owning Pink’s founder Dr. Lissa Rankin just auditioned for her own TV show on Oprah about getting your mojo back- and keeping it. Please vote for her here! It wasn’t easy for her to put herself out there like this. Here, she tells her story of how she felt the fear and overcame it.
Like everyone else in the world, I adore Oprah. I think she’s just the coolest, most authentic, brilliant, generous, inspiring human being, so when a woman in the Owning Pink community told me about her open call for a talk show host on her network, my radar started blinking bright pink lights like a disco ball in heat.
Then the fear kicked in. My inner critic whispered in my ear, the gremlins of doubt slithered in, and terror gripped my stomach. What if I submitted my audition video and made a complete fool out of myself and proved to the world that I’m a total loser? Even more scary, what if I actually won? Would I have to move to LA? Where would Siena go to school? How would I feel talking to cameras every day? What if I blew it in front of 10 million viewers? The nagging insecurities droned on.
It was almost enough to keep me from going after something I really really want. Then I came to my senses and realized that if I let the gremlins keep me from following my North Star, I’d be a total hypocrite. Here I am encouraging all of you to live out loud, follow your bliss, be authentic, and rock this life. If I let my fears halt me in my tracks, I might as well just shut up and go home.
I Did It!
SOOOOO…..(big deep breath), I did it. Today, I filmed the video clip of the TV show I want to pitch to Oprah. Here’s the description of what I’m proposing:
OWNING PINK- Get Your Mojo On
GET YOUR MOJO BACK AND ROCK THIS LIFE! Owning Pink is all about owning all the facets of what makes you whole- your creativity, your health, your spirituality, your relationships, your career, your sexuality, and how you live on this planet. It’s about being radically alive, living an authentic life, getting your mojo back, and keeping it. Mojo is MOre JOy. When you have it, you know it, and when you’ve lost it, you want it back. For my show, I will interview trailblazers who have lost their mojo and found creative ways to reclaim it. I’ll talk to those who are in the midst of divorce, loss of a loved one, a health crisis, an empty nest, or unemployment, and I’ll bring in experts- doctors, therapists, psychics, raw food chefs, relationship counselors, and career coaches- who are committed to helping others get their mojo back.
Staring Fear in the Face
I’m terrified of cameras. Really. It might not be evident but being on camera is sort of my worst nightmare. It’s bad enough getting interviewed by a talk show host, but to actually stare a camera in the face- gulp- is super scary for me. The first time I ever did it, my lower lip twitched the whole time and I had to grin this obnoxious smile in order to keep my twitch from being visible on film.
But today, I sat there, looked into that camera, and told my fear to go to hell. I have a mission. I want to get the Owning Pink message out there. And I’ll do whatever it takes to follow the Signs from the Universe that are guiding me to my destiny.
The Fine Print
After I got it close to right on take #1,943,267 (okay, so maybe that’s an exaggeration), my husband Matt said, “Shall I upload it to Oprah.com?” and the gremlins can a-knockin’. Then he rolled out the real doozy. Turn out I hadn’t read the fine print about how this open audition works. I assumed I just talk to the camera, make my audition video, and then wait to see if Oprah calls.
But oh no. It’s much more painful that that. The video is actually an audition to be part of a reality TV show on the Oprah Winfrey Network, produced by Mark Burnett of Survivor and The Apprentice fame. Now, you probably have no clue how much I bash reality TV shows. My stand has been “Why would I want to waste this one minute of this one wild and precious life watching other losers live theirs?” I can honestly say I’ve never watched a single one of them (it helps that I don’t actually have a television).
So when Matt told me that the finalists would have to go to LA and be filmed through the process of auditioning to be the one chosen by Oprah (think American Idol for talk show hosts), I felt my heart sink. The fear, the gremlins, the uber-doubt- they all came rushing back in like a tsunami.
Telling Myself the Truth
I took a deep breath, checked in with my desire, and gave myself permission to tell the truth. Part of me wanted to lie to myself. “Oh no, I don’t want to do that. How narcissistic would that be? I’ve got better things to do with my life than put myself out there for public ridicule, drama, and humiliation.” (Cut to close up of Lissa Rankin, weeping.)
But the truth is, I DO want to do this. Why NOT? I’ve always wanted to work with Oprah, and now Oprah is inviting me to have the chance! The truth is that my alter-ego (I call her Victoria Rochester) actually likes being in the limelight and wants the chance to be center stage. The truth is that having my own TV show would give me the platform to do whatever I desire in life, whether it’s writing more books, growing my website to be a major presence on the web, being of service to millions, or buying the house of my dreams. If I didn’t do it, wouldn’t it be awful to look back and wonder “what if?”
Vote For Me!
So I’m going for it! This is really hard for me. Totally outside of my comfort zone. But when I lie on my death bed, I want to be able to say that, while I feel the fear, I never let it make my decisions for me, thank you very much. If I can leave this earth with no regrets, I will have lived the life I wish to live.
So please, dear ones, vote for my audition video here.
Set Goals But Surrender Attachment to Outcomes
You know the coolest thing? I can honestly say that, now that I’ve done this brave and scary thing, I feel total peace. I have completely surrendered this to the Universe. If my video doesn’t get chosen, it’s because God has other plans for me, and this is not in the highest good for me and my family. I don’t pray that I win- I pray for the strength to face all possible outcomes with elegance, grace, and faith that whatever is written in the Master Plan will come to pass.
So if I don’t win, don’t feel sorry for me. I’ll be totally cool with it. I just need to demonstrate to myself that I’m willing to follow my dreams, even when it’s completely out of my comfort zone, that I’m willing to take a Pleap (Pink leap of faith) over and over and over again.
Dr. Lissa Rankin is an OB/GYN physician, an author, a nationally-represented professional artist, and the founder of Owning Pink, an online community committed to building authentic community and empowering women to get- and keep- their "mojo". Owning Pink is all about owning all the facets of what makes you whole- your health, your sexuality, your spirituality, your creativity, your career, your relationships, the planet, and YOU. Dr. Rankin is currently redefining women’s health at the Owning Pink Center, her practice in Mill Valley, California. She is the author of the forthcoming What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend (St. Martin's Press, September 2010).
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