Really, I did.

You see, this morning I got on the scale. At first, the number looked not bad, good even, given the way my body feels. Then the figure started to climb, a pound or two at a time. Much to my horror, it kept rising -- and rising and rising! I stepped off, unable to face the final tally. After a moment, I understood that if I didn't get back on the scale, who was I fooling? Surely not myself nor my way-too-tight jeans. After a deep breath, I got back on, prepared for the worst. And sure enough, the same thing happened, the number kept going up and up and UP, far past the point of reason. With a flash, I realized, Wait, the battery is failing, that's what's happening. Sure enough, it was. New batteries solved the problem and instantly, I was 50 pounds lighter.