The “swimsuit theory” is one of the most common ideas about how to approach children about sexual abuse. The idea is that if we tell them not to let anyone touch their “swimsuit areas” - the areas of their body that would be covered by a swimsuit - or if we tell them to tell someone if they are touched there - sexual abuse will magically end forever.

It’s a wacky little idea. It demonstrates a very common lack of understanding of the effects and causes of sexual abuse. It also demonstrates one of the effects of abuse: a disconnection between cause and effect. Telling children to tell on abusers doesn’t end abuse, and material that suggests this rarely (if ever) says what to do when the children tell. If children get support in healing the effects of the abuse, they will not go on to abuse others… but it seems harsh, abusive, and downright impractical to say “we plan to end the cycle of abuse by waiting until our children are abused and then helping them heal the resulting psychological issues.”