(REVIEW) Sex After 50: For Pamela Madsen, It's Shameless
Is there good sex after 50? Hell yeah! And if anyone wants a front-row seat at a roller-coaster ride of sexual energy and discovery, the book to glom onto is Shameless, just out from Rodale Press and by Pamela Madsen.
Shameless is the story of Madsen’s post-marriage, post-40s, sexual reawakening, a journey that started with some very awkward (and oily) massages and culminated in trips to Arizona and California to explore tantra, spanking and BDSM. With the awareness and support of her husband, here called Gavin, Madsen did what few women of her background ever do -- ask themselves ”What do I really want that will give me pleasure?” and then set out to find the answer -- and give herself permission to enjoy it.
During the journey, starting back in 2007, Madsen chronicled her experiences in a pseudonymous blog, The Riverdale Goddess, which I found because it had lots in common with my own (pen name) post-divorce blog about being over 40 and single for the first time in 20+ years. That blog got Madsen pushed out from a job, but it also gained a strong following before she shut it down. Soon, Madsen realized “Hey, I’m not the only post-40s woman seeking sexual pleasure who isn’t into affairs, cheating or ending my marriage!”
In many ways, Shameless is the story of how Madsen walked that delicate balance between having lots of new and fulfilling sexual experiences and drawing some lines in the sand around behaviors that would have made her husband uncomfortable. It’s also the story of how, in a journey of exploration, boundaries can keep shifting, so the Pam who started off scared to death on a massage table at the start of the book becomes the enthusiastic hussy who’s enjoying a spanking at a group workshop towards the end.
For women feeling locked into their relationships, those heading into their 50s with libido intact and a feeling of “is this all there is?” and those of us (all of us?) who want to get more enjoyment out of life, Madsen’s memoir is a delightful read -- and if you’re a Jewish or Italian girl from the East Coast, you’ll love it so much you’ll probably want to invite her to dinner (or ask her to be your sexual tour guide -- or take you lingerie shopping).
Earthy, inspiring and humorous, Pam Madsen’s book is the one you delight in on a business trip, or give as a gift to a friend or sister who needs to shake those cob webs loose. It’s a good read -- and a reminder many people not only want to keep having sex after 50 -- they want to have great sex, juicy sex, sex that is better than ever.
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