Did you hear the one about the guy who dressed up as Batman and knocked himself out on his ceiling fan, landing on his wife who was tied to the bed and had to scream for help? Now, I could swear that when I heard that story it was Superman. The AFU and Urban Legend Archive has it under Batman, however, and I guess it's an urban legend. One that got space in the Seattle Times and the Chicago Tribune.
Super hero stories aside, my guess is that most of us have at least one sexual mishap in our past. Let's face it, sex can be messy, sex can be dangerous, and if you're not laughing at some point, I think you might be doing it wrong.
I once had a boyfriend busy under the covers (because I was cold) who readjusted his position and fell right off the end of the bed! Taking the blanket with him! I heard this big thump as he and the blanket flew off, and when I sat up to look he pulled his head out from under the blanket and looked up at me and smiled this crazy grin. I couldn't stop laughing for like ten minutes, it was so funny.
It's like the blogger on Sex, Life and Frilly Bits says, Good Sex Doesn't Happen Overnight:
Erotica is all about sexual finesse and some sort of perfection, as well as attaining a kind of nirvana, but there is the other side, a side that seldom appears, a side that can be classified as erotic bloopers. Come on, everyone has sexual disasters, or sexual encounters that don’t go to plan, and such sexual encounters are a part of one’s sexual history, and if they’re ‘not’ and one says or proclaims to have had a perfect sex life from beginning to end, then I’ll say, ‘go fuck yourself.’
Oh, yes, she's got stories.
As does the blogger at Writing Sex, The Hilarious Escapades of a Sex Toy Reviewer:
Sexual mishaps long preceded becoming a sex-toy reviewer. The fact of the matter is that I've always attracted comedy situations and most of them derive from good, old-fashioned clumsiness. No sooner had I lost my virginity, had my accident-prone streak applied itself to sex.
Her mishaps? Snorting Sex and A Well-Timed Dildo.
Need more sexy laughs? Razzy from RazzyBlog recounts her sexual law-breaking ways in her post Breakin' the Laws:
It turns out, I'm a criminal in several states and municipalities. This just goes to show that no matter how much I try to abide by the law, I still somehow manage to be a bad, bad girl. It's in my nature, I guess.
Here's my rap sheet...
And finally, Jennifer Shaw from Erotic Diary of a Married Couple shares 10 Fun Sex Facts:
A recent visit to Manhattan’s legendary Museum of Sex yielded more than a mob of 18 year-old girls giggling in the foyer — it provided an entertaining and education look into the history of sex.
Here are some little-known sex facts that may surprise you - or at least give you ammunition for a fascinating dinner conversation!
Do you dare to share a sexual mishap of your own? Bonus points if it's funny.
~
Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.
Comments
Well, it didn't exactly
Well, it didn't exactly happen while we were having sex, but it falls into the category of "Sounds a lot better than it actually is."
I was on a canoe trip with my new boyfriend and a bunch of other folks. We veered off from the rest of the group into a quiet cove, thinking we'd do a little skinny dipping, to be followed by a little slap and tickle. How daring! How romantic!
We shucked off our clothes and hopped out of the canoe into the waist-deep water.
Then we heard the car coming down the forest road. As the park ranger drove by, he saw two people in the water, right next to each other -- except the water was up to the guy's waist and up to the girl's neck. Hmm.
And then we had to get back into the canoe. We hadn't anticipated that it's not exactly easy to clamber back into a canoe in the middle of a cove, especially when you're naked.
The Blog: Red Nose The Book: Girl Clown
Naked canoeing
That *was* so brave! And so funny! :)
Liz Rizzo
I blog at Everyday Goddess.
At first I didn't think I
At first I didn't think I had had any mishaps, and I all I could think of was the story of our toys getting stolen, but then I started to remember...still, the toy thing is probably the most mortifying and funny thing that has ever happened to us.
stolen sex toys?
Ha. That is awesome. And horrible but still, awesome.
Or maybe what's awesome is that you blogged it.
~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings
Cop + Sex Toys: OMG
That's hysterical! I'm glad you got so much of your - ahem - stuff back!
:)
Liz Rizzo
I blog at Everyday Goddess.