Shamrock Shakes Blow, And Other News

Unprofessional Cookery

Tonight I met with my college friend (and now future roommate) to discuss the whys and wherefores of moving in over Mexican food at my favorite neighborhood spot.  La Norteña is the antithesis of the much fancier Calexico right across the street, which is probably why I like it so much.  Every time I set foot into my Lugar de México Bangin ‘, the owners look at me politely as if I seem to be lost en route to my mezecal based cocktail on the other side of the road.  They never know what to do with me.  Every time I walk in there, the noise floor of the ranchera music is generally around jackhammer level on diamondplate. I have never once had a waitress that spoke (or understood) a word of English.  Nothing on the menu, save for the mariscos, is over ten bucks.

My type of place.

So as my dining companion and I were there tonight screaming at each other over tuba encores, discussing the intricacies of shared living.  I got chilaquiles con huevos, Mexico’s answer to polenta.  The waitress asked if I wanted Salsa Roja o Salsa Verde quickly and quietly. Thoughtlessly I asked for the red one.  As it turns out, I asked for napalm on a plate.

Just to be clear, I have a taste for spicy things but this was like a wad of C4 detonating in my mouth.  It was so hot that I couldn’t finish more than a bite or two, which never happens.  I ate the eggs in misery as with the two slices of avocado and scrapped the rest as my stomach wrestled with the bomb I had just lobbed at it.   The waitress, noting my distress, offered me more tap water (this time with actual ice in it) in my beer mug.  It was cold comfort.

So I decided to take down the eternal flame with a little dairy and simultaneously sate my curiosity.  I’ve been obsessed with trying one of those Shamrock Shakes.  The ads are everywhere and I never had one as a kid.  I also wanted to do some market research on this shake, thinking that I could develop a better one for a St. Patrick’s Day recipe post. 540 calories and 88 grams of carbs later, I realized that Shamrock Shakes kind of seriously suck.  However, it did take down the eternal flame in my GI tract.  (I hope.)

Anyways, read this stuff while I suffer in silence.  Happy Saturday.

  • Guess that idea for Inhalable Coke is also not going to go over well.  (NPR)
  • Troll Unprofessional Cookery wherever you go!  Like the Facebook Page and like the Twitter Feed over there.—–>
  • Ew.  You know that you’re going to try this anyways.  (Bon Appetit)
  • Take that, artisanal betches.  (Gourmet)
  • No. Nononononononononono.  Hell no.  (Huffington Post)
  • Yes.  Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes.  Well, duh.  (Huffington Post)

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