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Sparkle (0)
Growing up, I didn't always like to share. Since I was the oldest, it seemed that my mother felt the need to make me feel as if I was obligated to share with my younger sisters and brother. I always had the notion that if I shared, then they were supposed to reciprocate as well. Well needless to say, I had two of the stingiest younger sisters ever. I used to call them hoarders. For example, I would share my candy with them, thinking they didn't have any of their own, only to find out later, not only did they save their own candy, but when I was left high & dry without my own, neither of them would offer to share with me. They literally were stocking up their 'candy' reserve for later in the day. There was never any reciprocity with them.
As a parent, I taught my son at an early age, that although it's good to share, it's also ok to say no as well. One of my hording sisters has a son who's a year younger than my child. Guess whose child doesn't know the concept of sharing? Yes, the hoarder has spawned another hoarder.
I noticed my nephew's non-sharing hording traits early on. He would do the same exact thing as his mother when she was a kid. Hide his 'goodies', ask my son to share whatever he had with him, then later on, sneak off and take part in his own goodies later. Would he share with my son? Never. For a while my son didn't understand why his own cousin didn't share with him, so I had to explain how the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
I still don't understand why my parents only emphasized the concept of sharing with me, and not with my other siblings, and I truly think it did them a disservice and disservice to their own children. Neither my nephews, nor my niece have been taught the value of sharing and their parents really don’t see anything wrong with it.
Although I’ve taught my son to share, I’ve also taught him how not to be taken advantage of. I had to explain to him that sure, it’s fine to share, but if you’re always on the giving end, and never receive anything in return from a person you’re constantly sharing with, it’s time to put an end to the sharing. Sure, it’s not exactly something you want to share with a kid, but it’s a harsh reality at times.
