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“Collaborative Law” is supposedly, the new trend for couples
facing divorce. For those of you, who are not familiar with this process,
please permit me to explain. The theory is that the husband and wife, who are
facing divorce, have their own attorneys. The couple and their attorneys work
toward a cooperative agreement, prior to going through the brutally heavy and
expensive doors of divorce court.
I give my accolades to Stuart Webb of Minneapolis, who initiated this process in
the 1990’s. Mr. Webb, in my opinion, is one of the few attorneys who actually
cares about the clients and abhors the combat that takes place in divorce
court. He tried to offer an alternative which, in a perfect world, would be
encouraging.
In the “Collaborative Law” process, the husband and wife,
together with their attorneys, select experts if needed, to assist in various
aspects of the settlement. These experts might be psychologists, financial
advisors, accountants, etc. The goal is to negotiate a settlement and satisfy the needs of each,
as well as any children involved, more quickly. The hope is that the couple
will spend less money and avoid being ravaged by the divorce system.
One of the many problems of the “Collaborative Law” concept,
in my opinion is that, if the couple is unable to reach an agreement, their
troubles are just beginning. Why? Well, for obvious reasons, this process
requires that the couple cannot use same attorneys, to go with them to divorce
court. They must begin at square one and the money spent on the “Collaborative
Law” process is virtually “flushed.”
There are many advocates of this legal divorce
option. Those who are in favor of this alternative prefer a means by which a
divorcing couple can avoid a costly court fight. Here is the rub. How many
attorneys REALLY want to involve themselves in a scenario where they will earn
less money? Allegedly, there are groups
of attorneys across the United
States, who contend, that they favor this
concept. For the most part, I don’t buy it. I do know several ethical and
honest attorneys who truly care about the welfare of their clients but they
don’t help them gratis and why should they? I also have come in contact with
far too many lawyers who seem to thrive on the bloody skirmish that occurs in
divorce court. These manipulative and greedy attorneys are not unlike man
eating sharks, during a feeding frenzy. They slash at the preexisting wounds of
the husband and wife. With each strike at their opponent, they taste victory.
They triumph, in their minds, is because they have multiplied their billable
hours. The heart breaking part is that it is at the cost of the couple and
their children. I am not speaking of a monetary cost although obviously, that
is an enormous part. I am speaking about how these attorneys maim any chance
that the couple will ever be able to have an amicable relationship after the
final decree is reached. To often, the wounds that are inflicted, do not heal!
