I Was Approached by a Drug-Seeking Mom

Dr. Kym Puga, The Child Whisperer

p>Dr. Kym Puga, The Child Whisperer

All states in the United States have a state law, mandated by federal law. if you SUSPECT abuse..you do not have to know for sure, you just have to suspect. You have to report it to CPS. All information you need is the childs name, and parents name. If a child told you she was being abused. You should have immediately dialed 911, it is an emergency. It is not your place to decide if it is true, if it is actually abuse, neglect or anything else. You are not the CPS professional. You are another human being and as an adult it IS your responsiblity to help protect all children. What if your child was kidnapped and then abused and then met a lady at the library and tried to tell her. All she would have had to ask your child was what is your name. What is the name of the person abusing you? Then call 911. period.! You do not need the story, only the suspicion and the name, they can find out the rest. If you would have called 911, the police would have intervened and held them there until CPS could arrive and get all they would need to go on....Please anyone who reads this IT IS OUR, YOUR responsibility to report any SUSPICION of neglect, abuse or mistreatment of any child any time. It is a law. Never try to be the judge or jury, just go with your gut and call 911 and let the professionals do the rest.

Dr. Kym Puga, The Child Whisperer

All states in the United States have a federal law, if you suspect abuse..you do not have to know for sure, you just have to suspect. You have to report it to CPS. All information you need is the childs name, and parents name. If a child told you she was being abused. You should have immediately dialed 911, it is an emergency. It is not your place to decide if it is true, if it is actually abuse, neglect or anything else. You are not the CPS professional. You are another human being and as an adult it IS your responsiblity to help protect all children. What if your child was kidnapped and then abused and then met a lady at the library and tried to tell her. All she would have had to ask your child was what is your name. What is the name of the person abusing you? Then call 911. period.! You do not need the story, only the suspicion and the name, they can find out the rest. If you would have called 911, the police would have intervened and held them there until CPS could arrive and get all they would need to go on....Please anyone who reads this IT IS OUR, YOUR responsibility to report any SUSPICION of neglect, abuse or mistreatment of any child any time. It is a law. Never try to be the judge or jury, just go with your gut and call 911 and let the professionals do the rest.

My guess is that she stopped thinking logically long before I came along. Maybe she knew they were onto her at the pharmacy. Who knows.
http://simplyjunehaskell.blogspot.com/

I don't get it? If the drugs she was "seeking" were in her name, why couldn't she just go in and get them?

I have had the paperwork to become a CASA child advocate on my dresser for 2 months now. I have been torn between doing something I feel strongly about and would love or getting a job that pays to help with the family income. Today I started filling out the CASA application in part because of your encouragement. Thanks, so much. I guess we'll see what happens!
http://simplyjunehaskell.blogspot.com/

Hey she could have called the police and had that woman who hit her charged with battery and if she had threatened the woman before hitting her, she could have been charged with both assault and battery.
Then child services would have probably had to get involved even if they didn't want to while that mother was in jail awaiting being bonded out by someone. The child would have been placed in foster care.

I'd tell the cops "Good it's my word against the Mother's." So let the judges decide who's word they'll believe, Mine or perhaps a mother with a Rap Sheet a Mile Long, or perhaps a child who has several ER reports from unexplained injuries......"
I'd also tell the cops I didn't care and want the report made and that I wanted an official copy of the report from them. If they refused to take the report, then I'd contact my local newspaper and TV stations.
You'd be sure they would get in on this and make the police accountable.

I have a friend who just today, told me about a similar incident where she stepped in and the lady hit her. I say trust what ever that voice inside you is telling you to do.

http://simplyjunehaskell.blogspot.com/

Maybe all your good ideas and advice will help the next person know what to do. It was so frustrating and it seemed to happen so fast. I think that once I went in for help, she knew she may be in trouble and took off.

http://simplyjunehaskell.blogspot.com/

I can imagine how haunted you must feel about this. Blogging about the experience and starting a dialogue about ways to react is at least one small positive outcome.

Alerting authorities is only the first step in helping kids in unstable families. I have volunteered as a CASA child advocate and it is the most meaningful work I have ever done. I encourage you to check out their site, casaforchildren.org, and share a post about it to your followers. There are so many children at risk - but there are also ways to help.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Gwen~Healthy Mamma

It's easier to look back at a situation like this and think about what you might have done differently. Child abuse (and that's exactly what this was) is an infuriating subject. Especially because it's so unnecessarily hard to get these kids help quickly. If this had been a dog being abused, the cops would be right out there.
I can't put myself in your shoes, but I think if it were me, I would have told the mother to wait there and I would go see what I could do and try to get her the medication. Then I would have gone in and told the pharmacy to call the cops. While the cops may or may not take your word against hers about the abuse, false perscriptions filling is very illegal. You could have gotten her on that then maybe she could get clean while her daughter was protected.

These things are so absolutely heartbreaking... I probably feel as impotent as you when this kind of things happen.

This breaks my heart.

Honestly, I won't know what I would have done if it was me she approached. The sucker in me probably would have gave her money. :(

I do like the 2-1-1 approach. I have never heard of that & I am going to program that in my phone.

That really hit me too hard. What can you do? I know I would shake with rage at the mother for this, perhaps in my mind envision hurting her and rescuing her daughter even, but what do you DO?! The cops would just tell you that it's your word against the mothers and do nothing. And that poor poor little girl would still go home hungry, afraid, miserable at her lot in life, unable to trust people, and probably beaten even harder because cops were involved. But to do nothing. That does no good either. I wish that Child Protective Services and the Police would come out publicly and just TELL people, tell us, what are we able to DO in such situations?! Once and for all, so that we could know and be able to do something.

I grew up in a great family in a good neighborhood but drugs came in to my high school when I was growing up and "captured" many many of my friends, many of whom grew up in abusive homes, while I was strong enough to always say "No".

Later, they all had children who suffered like this girl. I did as much as I could, bringing toys to the kids if I knew where they were, food, drove the mothers to the food banks, coached them to get sober and get jobs, offered them rides, dealt with drug dealers thinking I was somehow linked to them, put a restraining order against one man who felt that threatening me and my then one child would keep me away, gang activity all around me.

I finally broke down and moved. I'm ashamed on one hand because I stopped helping those poor children, so that I could instead be around stranger children who probably suffer the same but who I don't know. And on the other hand, I didn't want my kids being anywhere around that, just in case they won't grow up strong enough to say "No" and instead try to help others.

Tonight, I will pray for this little girl that she will grow up knowing that she is worthy, decent, and it's not her fault and that she does not perpetuate the cycle and that she be blessed to get out of that situation somehow and be taken care of by a family who loves her, feeds her, and doesn't hurt her more.

Polish Mama on the Prairie

http://polishmamaontheprairie.blogspot.com/

@PolPrairieMama

On facebook: "Polish Mama on the Prairie"

So sorry that you had this experience. What a tough thing to go through!! How heartbreaking.

One a more practical note...

Not sure where you live, but in 47 states anyone needing help can just pick up the phone and dial 2-1-1. This is United Way's solical service helpline that connects people in need to community resources/services. (24 hours a day, 365 days year)

Maybe if something like this ever happens again you could say, "It looks like you really need some help, but I'm not sure that I am able to give you what you need. Try calling 2-1-1. They can help you get the services that you need."

I had a little girl in the library start telling me about the abuse she endured. I listened and tried to get enough information to tell CPS, but when I called, CPS said it wasn't enough to go on. I think about her often and wonder what I was supposed to do since I feel like I chose wrong. But maybe we did what we were supposed to do. You never know how much your offer of a cookie and kind look to that little girl might stay with her and give her hope.

Alex Iwashyna can be found blogging on Late Enough ( http://www.lateenough.com ) or tweeting at @L8enough ( http://twitter.com/L8enough ). Probably in her pjs.