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She vs. Him: New Year's Resolutions -- Great Idea or Waste of Time?

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It's That Time Again!


Yup. You guessed it. IT'S RESOLUTION TIME, BABY!

I am not someone that is very scheduled and orderly. I WANT to be. I WANT to be organized and anal about schedules, and rules, and have my socks and underwear drawers perfectly tidy and my closets color coordinated with all the garments neatly facing the same way.

But I’m not.

I have made my peace with the fact. But there is ONE TIME OF THE YEAR I absolutely feel “Type A Awesome" -- when I make my resolutions. I do them every year.

I think it’s just a good thing for an adult to at least occasionally ponder what they want to achieve in the coming year and actually put pen to paper (or cursor to screen) to write those goals down.

Like most things, I have years when I am better at resolutions than others. Sometimes my resolutions have been the fail-iest of FAIL, like that year I was going through a high-risk pregnancy and was so sick and wretched in January that I had 4 resolutions:

1. Get out of bed by 11 am.

2. Make the bed.

3. Take a shower every day.

4. Don’t die during this pregnancy.

I only achieved one of them. ;)

I try not to let failure stop me from trying again. When I achieve the goals on my list, it makes me happier and more fulfilled than I can say. The year that I saved and went on my dream trip to the UK, gave up Diet Coke, chocolate, and caffeine until I lost 10 pounds, AND ran a 5K, was an insanely proud moment for me.

Taking time to think about and write down your goals for the year is a positive thing. Even if you fall off the horse and don’t make all of them.

Don’t go into it expecting to fail, but realize it’s ok if you do. You may be surprised at how many of them you achieve and cross off the list!

Loralee Choate authors the personal blog Loralee’s Looney Tunes. She is also Director of Internet Operations for the magazine Where Women Cook and is creator and author of their blog Amuse Bouche. She can be found on Twitter as @looneytunes. She also thinks that even though he’s a cute guy who speaks Latin, you should side with her and not with Backpacking Dad.

Don't Go Changing, to Try to Please Me


How do you feel about Billy Joel, Internet? I think Billy Joel is awesome. Billy wrote "Just the Way You Are" in 1977, the year I was born, so I consider it a message to me from Billy.

"Just the Way You Are" is written from the point of view of me (well, baby me since it was 1977) looking at himself in the mirror contemplating the cultural oppression we commit against ourselves every year when we tell each other that we aren't good enough. Billy wants me to say to myself "Under no circumstances should you make a New Year's Resolution, baby Shawn."

"You never let me down before..."

Billy wants me to instead reassure myself that at the end of the day I am just as awesome as he is. He, the man who wrote "For the Longest Time": I'm as awesome as him. I should be telling myself THAT on New Year's Eve instead of looking at baby Shawn's face and saying "Hmmm....you're looking a little fat there, baby Shawn. Put down the formula for 1978. Why not try breast milk instead?"

"I need to know that you will always be the same old someone that I knew."

If you are going to change, don't change just to please someone else. In fact, don't change just to please yourself, because you? Are a fickle bastard. You thought you could never love a show as much as Battlestar Galactica, but oh no, here comes Dexter and suddenly you traded in all of your Viper fighter models for butcher knives and latex gloves. You are the worst possible person to try to please by changing the way you are. So don't go changing just to please me, me.

"I said I love you, and that's forever, and this I promise from the heart..."

Billy thinks there is only one resolution that's important enough to make to yourself: "I love you, baby

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kbojar 5 pts

New Year’s resolutions have their usefulness. As a retiree, I need help keeping track of my time. I just took a look at last year’s resolutions to take stock of how I did. Not great, but if I hadn’t been keeping track, I’m sure it would have been much worse.
See
http://www.the-next-stage.com/2010/12/new-years-re...

Karen Bojar blogs about retirement life, feminist activism,  grassroots politics and gardening at http://www.the-next-stage.com/

freshmints 5 pts

I love the fresh start of the new year and the idea of making changes. I try to find that hard/soft balance between challenging myself and also giving myself a break. Pema Chodron says, "The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves."

Therefore, my goals are based around that balance. I have a few challenging goals like losing 20 lbs and walking the 39 mile Avon Walk. And I have a few that are more about being kind and caring about others. Maybe I should even have one about sitting and being still.

Check out my blog about life and motherhood and learning to be present.

www.freshmintings.blogspot.com  ( http://www.freshmintings.blogspot.com  )

ms_lorelei 5 pts

Loralee...you know I WANT to take your side. We've been through so much together. (What? I dunno...gimme a second I'll make something up.)

But...but...I just don't know if you can compete against the Philosophies of Billy Joel.

I can't help it. Child of the 80's and all.

Forgive me. I'll make it up to you somehow. With a diet coke or something.

Lori, speech pathologist, writer, and business owner, blogs home-family-working-mom drama at In Pursuit of Martha Points. ( http://inpursuitofmarthapoints.com )

Grace Hwang Lynch 7 pts

but at least I try, and even if I don't run the 5K, I got a lot more exercise than I would if I hadn't set a goal to run a race.

In recent years, I've mainly made process-oriented resolutions, like writing on a regular basis to work toward achieving my goals, or exercising BEFORE I let the mommy duties take over my day. My new goal is to the most results-oriented one I've ever made, to make 2011 The Year (Almost) Without Shopping. I'll post on how that goes...

Grace Hwang Lynch blogs about life in an Asian mixed race family at www.HapaMama.com ( http://www.HapaMama.com )

marichap87 5 pts

Marissa C.

I get upset a bit if I do not carry them out. But then I think...well there is always next year. Just like when you mess up in a class...you think oh well I will make the Dean's List next semester. I think that people should continue to make them but attempt to carry them out. Its good that people make resolutions, because at least you know that they want to change their bad habits oppose to not thinking that there is a problem. lol My resolution was to stop procrastinating and do my (school) work when it is assigned instead of waiting. That is my problem...I tend to always think that there is time. I have had too many close calls and it needs to end now!!

Elisa Camahort 5 pts

So Shawn kinda had me at "Don't go changin'..."

However, the other reason I don't make resolutions each year? Because they're always the same:

No need to review and refresh...I'm strong where I'm strong and weak where I'm weak pretty damn consistently, more's the pity.

Loralee, if only you had gone with Howard Jones ca. 1985:

"Things can only get better...whoa oh ohhhh, whoa oh oh. oh. oh."

Elisa Camahort Page
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JennaHatfield 9 pts

I make them. But I don't berate myself when I don't keep them. My goals are less about change and more about the stuff I want to do. (Photography, reading.) I do have a health/weight loss one, but that's more about getting back to where I was last year with regard to GOOD FOOD CHOICES. Because... uh... OOPS.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.