Shopping at Barney's NY with Lumber Jack Barney

shopping at Barneys NY with BarneyThe fall fashion season is my ultimate fave. I adore coats and jackets as you might've deduced from my prior posts. So shopping for outerwear leads me to the bellwether of style and prestige, Barney's NY.

This year, I decided to bring a new found friend to Barney's, my Lumber Jack Barney plush doll. My goal is to restyle this unfortunate soul who suffers from a lack of sophistication. (You might remember my plush Barney doll in this Lumber Jack post.)

Plush Barney's uniform of choice is the Overall. I hate Overalls, which I consider to be denim's depressed diaper counterpart. The only appropriate place to wear that shapeless tarp is thatching a roof or riding cross country on a freight train with a bandana satchel toting wedges of stale bread and chewing tobacco. Unfortunately, Overalls have insinuated their way back into streetstyle fashion. I'm hoping this trend will meet its demise shortly.

We arrived at Barney's NY on a balmy morning and decided to video at the storefront on Madison Avenue. To my dismay, plush Barney was not pleased with the store's pretentiousness and whispered that he would rather be at H&M (Hemorrhaging & Manipulating) or Forever 21 (Forever Crap). As you can see in my video, I was unforgiving and belligerent in my response. I almost beat him to a pulp over his choice of shopping destinations. Luckily, I am a forgiving person, restrained myself and proceeded to take on Barney's NY.

(click on video)

Right away, I headed toward the hat section. I wasn't impressed by the two lean racks. Each season, I am hopeful that women will embrace the hat, the best accessory aside from shoes that a women could buy. But it never happens since women are baffled how to wear hats. They feel they don't look good in them, but I will attest that they do. It's a matter of finding the best shape to suit one's style.

Wearing a hat at Barney's hat

I tried on a Jennifer Ouellette hat.

Barney is giddy over purple. Barney's can be intimidating on account of 9 floors purely dedicated to fashion, accessories, home goods and Fred's restaurant. However, the spaciousness of each floor layout and carefully curated items make the experience enjoyable rather than overwhelming. If you want to be overwhelmed, visit lower-end department stores where garments are strewn about, multiple rows of racks which can barely be navigated, surly shoppers and bored employees who look homicidal.

Next stop, shoes. Shoe departments continue to expand exponentially in size vying for a woman's undivided attention and maximum credit card limit. Barney's is no exception. They want women to drool over their enviable offerings. As diverse as the choices may be, I would like to see the stiletto section be given a fool-proof birth control method for a few years. Sure stilettos are sexy, but there are way too many of them. Women traipsing around in shoes that will eventually give them bunions the size of a cronut exasperates me. My foot temple of choice has either a chunky heel or is in the brogue-flats family.

shoes from barneys NY store My favorite shoes. 1. fur Dries Van Noten 2. Guiseppe Zanotti 3. Guiseppe Zanotti. These are Barney's favorite pair. The gold caps resemble Barney's yellow fungal infested plush toe nails. I love these and hope one day to hire a butler. I will make sure he follows me around in these shoes.

Robert Clergerie brogues

My favorite brogues by Robert Clergerie. I want all three.

As someone who loves coats and jackets, this plaid one by Celine greeted me with open plaid arms on my favorite floor--the third. You can also find Thom Browne, Zac Posen and Lisa Perry.

Red plaid Celine coat at Barneys NY

I was so in love with this coat that I willed myself to put some life into my lifeless legs and try on this coat. I need to get some sun. My lanky pale gams need some orange hued bronzer in the meantime.

My second favorite floor is the 8th and one where I bought a jacket I have been eyeing since February on the Fall Fashion Runway. I was so excited to see this Carven in person. I love the coated fabric, fur lapel, zippered sleeves and iridescent texture which reminds me of something in the beetle family. The minute we greeted one another this Carven knew it would make its way back home with me.

Carven Jacket at Barneys NY store and PrettyCripple

Come here Carven. What am I wearing with it? A vintage Pierre Cardin Derby hat, Trina Turk dress, leggings and fur leopard Elie Tahari booties.


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