To Spa or Not To Spa? Wait—How Is That A Question?


Life is complicated. Thank goodness there are experts to help us untangle some of the vexing issues that, well, vex us on a daily basis. The Mouthy Housewives are here to help, three times a week. Today, the Housewives answer an exclusive BlogHerMoms question!

Mouthy Housewives logo

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

One of my girlfriends invited me to go away for a girls’ long weekend next spring. It would be a to a spa, approximately three hours away from our home town.  I was so excited to go, but my mom is making me feel guilty for leaving my 5-year-old son.  She told me that she never left me to go and have fun with her friends when I was a child.

My husband seems a little overwhelmed by the idea of being without me for the weekend, but wants me to go an enjoy myself.

Should I go?



Dear Undecided,

Humor me for a second.  

You have a chance to get away from your family and go with your girlfriends to a spa.  

What’s the catch?

Grand Velas spa

Credit Image:Grand Velas Riviera Maya via Flickr

Wait, is this one of those “spas” where they brainwash you into watching Two and A Half Men?  Or are your girlfriends really the cast members of The View?  

Because these two horrific scenarios notwithstanding, I see no reason why you shouldn’t go.  Especially because your husband, who will be with your son, is supportive of the idea.

The real question is why your mother feels the need to pile on the guilt.  Although it’s certainly admirable that decades later she is still holding on to the fact that she never took a trip with her friends due to the albatross around her neck (you), this has more to do with her than you.

Times were different back then.  Women were expected to subscribe to more traditional gender roles, men for the most part took a more hands-off approach in child rearing, and perhaps not unrelatedly Valium prescriptions were on the rise.  

Tell your mother that you are not abandoning your child, but that you are excited about the idea of reconnecting with your friends.  Certainly if she can remember never taking such a trip she can imagine the appeal.  But even if she can’t, or won’t, ask her to respect your decision.

Everyone needs some “me time”.  If you are lucky enough to get it, don’t waste it with guilt, doubt and wondering about what your mother would have done.


Marinka, TMH


In order to comment on, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.