- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 4
-
Sparkle (0)
In the middle of the night I woke up and the first thing that came to my mind was, "Shouldn't I be sad that I don't have a job...because I'm not." Though yesterday I wrote about how I never accomplish all that I had intended to, what I failed to mention is that I have accomplished many a thing that just wasn't on the lists. They are the type of things that for months, and even years, you think you'll get around to, but because you have spent so much time working, you put off because you need the rest or would rather spend the time bonding with your family. I have fixed things and gone through stacks of papers that needed to be filed or shredded. I've tended to my plants that were in dire need of some attention. I have spent quality time with my family and my pets and I even got my taxes done and filed! But best of all, I've spent so much more focused time on God than ever before. It has been very gratifying!
When I was working, I worked 46 hours a week, plus had about a half hour commute each way. That's 51 hours a week spent related to this job, of which I made a small salary, plus commissions that were ever shrinking in quantity and size. Then there was the getting ready time of at least an hour a day...which could go longer, depending on what mood my hair was in that day. So, by the time I got home at night, I had already been up and running for 10 or 11 hours and more that 13 on my 9am-8pm days. By the time I got changed and decompressed, it was nearly bedtime and then back on the gerbil wheel in the morning. How horrid! So, when I say that the job search and training grant process sucks the life out of me, it really is no worse than my typical day working and it is for FAR shorter periods of time...plus, I can do it in my play clothes! ;-)
Later the same day: Sorry, but a dark cloud overtook me for a bit and though I hate to share the darkness, I have to in order for the light to shine brighter!
I wrote the beginning of this post this morning before I left to go run errands. In the meantime I have become rather melancholy! :-( I think that I was overtaken by the realization that today marks 2 weeks of my unemployment and I have no prospects for a job, nor am I certain that I will qualify for the grant for job training! I had to fill out the FAFSA, which was weird to begin with, since I have only ever done that for my daughter's schooling. But the bad thing is that since I need the money now, I had to use last years tax return info, which wasn't great, but was much better that this years income! This year, I would certainly qualify for any kind of aid, but this years return would only work for the 2009-2010 school year...too little too late!
The other blow is that, I applied for unemployment for the first time in my life and was denied benefits because I don't have 20 weeks of income that was subject to unemployment insurance before the end of 2008. Get this, I only had 19 weeks! The rest of my qualified income was this year and will not be considered until April 5th, when they look at the first quarter of 2009. They don't care about income from self-employment, which is the only other income I had in 2008. I can re-apply in April, if I am still unemployed. Aaahhh! All of this uncertainty is starting to get me! I truly believe that God has a purpose in all of this and I know that this is a temporary condition, but this totally sucks! I am sick of having to continually swim against the current...it is sooo exhausting! I can only imagine how wonderful it will feel to be on the other side of this awful nightmare! I can hardly wait to write about that!!!
God, please lift me out of this dark little hole I have fallen into. I know you are with me and if I can
