A Shout Out To Our Exes

(Un)dearly Ex-Spouses:

Hey. It's me. Again...once again reminding you that being a jack-assed douchebag to my kid is not okay. 

It's me...the one who has them more than every other weekend...which all of us know isreally Saturday through Sunday afternoon.

It's me...the one who bakes cookies with them...who dances around making a fool of herself...just because. 

It's me...the one who helps with homework...who makes sure they study...who helps with school projects...who volunteers in the class...who attends the conferences...who saves for their college.

It's me...the one who signs them up for sports...who drives them to practice...who plays catch in the front yard...who goes to the games...who tells them they played awesome...whether the truth or a little white lie.

It's me...the one who knows their favorite color...who knows their teachers names...who knows what they like to eat...who knows what's wrong when they are in a mood.

It's me. 

The one who is so sick of having to deal with your inability to 'parent' a child. And by the way, I am using the word 'parent' as loosely as I possibly can.

You would think that the reason for our divorce would have lit a match under your ass, made you look at yourself and set out to change. Sadly, it did not. I guess the single lifestyle sounded a lot more appealing than stepping up and being a 'parent' to a kid.

It is sad, really. 

While you were out, living it up (please spare me the details, I can promise you I do not care) I have been here, raising an awesome human being.

It is sad, really.

While you've been preoccupied, you have missed the goings on. You have missed the struggles, the accomplishments, the ups and downs, highs and lows that your child has and still is going through. You have never once asked. 

It is sad, really.

While you've been busy, you've been 'unable' to make it to most of the sports games. Seriously? Except for summer, the kid is in a sport year round. You've been too busy for any school meetings or conferences. You've been too busy to ask for a report card or talk to your kid about school. 

It is sad, really.

I want you to know that while you have been sporadically around, our kid has continued to grow and mature. I have always lied and made an excuse as to why you don't call, why you aren't at the game, why you are whatever. And I will continue to do so...buthe's'working' so much and too busy to call or come to the game or pick you up isn't working on a kid old enough to know you don't work 1000 hours a week. 

Know that I am so sick of writing these kinds of reminders to you. It sucks knowing that my poor choices are affecting my kid. You don't deserve the title of parent. You have no clue what the definition of the word is. Open a damn dictionary and figure it out. 

The thing is, I know the routine. I know that you can act the part and play up thatparent of the year act when needed. (FYI: everyone realizes WTF you're doing.) I know that in a few months I will again be writing you, reminding you that you're being a jack-assed douchebag to my kid...again.

It is sad, really... 

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