I was having dinner with a few newer friends when a woman I'd barely met said that her father had recently grilled her boyfriend because he wanted to be sure that the guy was "someone who could take care of her." Without thinking, I said, "Why? Can't you take care of yourself?"

I myself am completely self-sufficient - so much so that I imagine I'd have to date someone with "ax murderer" tattooed on his forehead before my friends, or even my parents, would dare peep at my decisions for
myself.

But I honestly didn't mean to be rude. I realized almost instantly that I am so far removed from this train of thought that what she had said had honestly struck me as completely bizarre. Plus, being a huge fan of stay-at-home dads, you can see how the old "man who can take care of my daughter" theory would preclude the newer theory of "man who can raise the children while my daughter brings home the bacon" theory. So it hit my feminist bone the wrong way. Mostly though, I guess, I was reacting as someone who hates the thought of having to be married off so that someone can take care of her - Like I'm doomed if I don't find a man, because who will take care of me? Blech.

I do recognize that when you're in a couple, the blessed reality is, you can take turns taking care of each other. And that is pretty sweet. But letting someone in when you're Miss Self-Sufficient (as the song goes), is another thing entirely.

You have to let down some walls. You have to learn that it's OK to fall in love with the great things about having a partner. You have to let someone in. You have to let in the happiness, and as obvious as that sounds, it can be difficult and scary.

It's hard to deny the great things about having a partner, but when you're scared, sometimes you focus on the negative instead. So this post is about the simply positive. Because the positive is fun and deserves to be cherished and recognized.

Kissing Rocks. I'm a big, big fan of the kissing. Throw you up against a cold pole kissing, quick hello kissing, soft cuddly kissing, and passionate, passionate kissing.

Laughing together. From the moment Hunky Actor Boyfriend and I talked on the phone for the first time, he had me laughing. I make him laugh, too - I just desperately hope he's laughing with me. Here's a great post on Laughter as a Simple Remedy.

Holding hands. There's something powerful about clasping hands. Hugging is great, of course, but holding hands allows you to be connected while moving, talking, interacting with others. I love it. And yes, I linked to the YouTube video of otters holding hands. It was taking over my Google Blog Search. Everybody loves it.

Back-rubs.  Giving and receiving, that's good stuff. I also found this great photo blog when I searched on back-rubs; check out this beautiful post: Sarah Barlow has a Boyfriend.

A little venting - and a lot of love. Does anything beat having someone to talk to when you need to vent? Not that it doesn't rock to have the blogosphere, but sometimes it's *so* nice to talk to a real live boy. Hunky Actor Boyfriend always has great perspective for me, which is really great. And I take my turn listening, I swear.

You know, enjoying and taking care of each other is pretty great stuff. I could go on and on, but I'll throw it to you: What simple thing do you love about your partner?

Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.