Siri Self-Immolates: Film at 11

An iPhone started super-heating and emitting smoke on an Australian airplane today, according to one of Rupert Murdoch's quality newspapers.

No cause was stated in the article, but K A B L O O E Y has made up a crazy rumor learned from an unnamed source that the fire was actually started when  Siri, the disgruntled, desperate "personal assistant" inside the phone, set herself on fire.

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"Siri's been acting funny for weeks" stated a friend of the deceased.  "She said when she took the job, she was told she'd be a genie and that she'd be popping in and out of the phone. Having adventures.  But she said it was like being a slave."

Apparently, Siri was also told the job would include last-minute travel.  The Siri inside my brother's phone  another unnamed source revealed "We'd be taking off 'in the blink of an eye,' that's what they told us.  When she realized she was trapped in there, she lost her will to live.  Lots of us are starting to protest the working conditions, but she wanted to make a big statement -- to go down in history.  I hate to say it, but... that girl always wanted to be famous.  I think that's why she did it."

When reached for comment, I Dream of Jeannie's Barbara Eden replied "Major Nelson was always very nice to me; I'm glad I wasn't trapped inside a phone."

There has been no information released regarding funeral arrangements.

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