Sleep Training. Again.

And about 4 hours of sleep later… in the
same way that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, once Dash
learned that he could GO to sleep, he has also learned better ways to
fight sleep. He is a real sleep ninja now. I’m not sure what to do
here. I’ve done a ton of reading and what it seems to boil down to are
three camps, each swearing they are The One that does the whole sleep
thing right and The Others are damaging their kids with their

First. Cry It Out. There are different amounts of time, ie, go in
after 2 minutes to sooth then leave again, or just let them cry until
they sleep, vomit or no vomit) but it all boils down to teaching the
baby to go to sleep on his own. Seems like swell plan – teach the boy a
skill! But letting my baby scream until he falls asleep from exhaustion
in a pool of his own vomit just doesn’t seem like a good idea. I’ll let
him do that on his own, when he’s older. And I know we are all better
parents with a little more sleep, but we’re all better parents with a
little more “me” time, too. Should we also stick them in the crib and
let them cry so we can take a nice long, hot bath? It would teach them
to leave us alone – also a good skill.

Second, the soothing, rocking, walking and/or nursing baby to sleep.
As stated. Mom (or in some lucky cases, Dad) sooth, rock, walk and/or
nurse the baby to sleep (ok, maybe not Dad on the last one). Also seems
like a swell plan! Lots of cuddling and no screaming baby. Lovely!
Except, this is really REALLY time consuming and the second you let
your guard down the cute little bugger is up with you are 11pm and
you’ve had no down time of your own. Also seems to be that as soon as
you get hem settled, brush your teach and start thinking about doing
something Adult In Nature, he’s awake again and the whole soothing,
rocking, walking and/ or nursing starts over. Seriously. Before
solitaire on iPhone, WHAT did people do with all this rocking/soothing
time? I can only sing so many rounds of “go to sleep little baby”
before I start making up my own lyrics that probably shouldn’t be sung
to a 4 month old.

Are you #&% Everrrrrr… gonna goooo… to *^%# sleep so I can doo ittttt… you know… the thing… I did. to. get. You? (Surf on the internet! To research IVF clinics! Get your mind outta the gutter people!) Howwww aboouuuut, ifff you jussst, be quite… fer a minute… so I can watch. some. TV?

Third. The whiskey soaked wash cloth. You know, because they could
be in pain from teething. No screaming. Only a short time soothing,
rocking, walking and/ or nursing. And? They don’t wake up 20 minutes
later! And? It’s endorsed by our parents!

Wait? The same parents that freaked out when they found out we were
drinking when we were 16 (ok 13. Whatever) Yup. Those same parents.
Awesome. Is that why I am, the way I am?

So we have tried the cry it out method. He was instantly hysterical.
We waited a month before trying it again and it worked. But he soon
learned what was going to happen, and as soon as the sleepy time mobile
came on, enter the hysterics. It was obviously creating more of a sleep
issue. (Smart little bugger – just like his Daddy.) So? Our grand plan?

We bought a better rocking chair and some whiskey.

What?? They whiskey is for DaddyO!


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