Sleeping with a Boyfriend: The Truth
By Jamie Oakes on July 15, 2014
After being in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year, I couldn’t wait to sleep with him anytime I wanted. I don’t mean in that way either, but to actually sleep-sleep with him in the same bed every night. I couldn’t wait to snuggle. I couldn’t wait to have pillow talk. I couldn’t wait to fall asleep next to the person who meant the world to me.
Am I coming off as some obsessive girlfriend who can’t sleep in bed alone? I hope not.
It was comforting to know that every time I would fall asleep next to him, he would (hopefully) be there when I woke up. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about the idea.
Okay, maybe this is starting to sound a bit creepy.
After a year, we finally made the next big step in a long-distance relationship: to live together. (So we may have skipped a few steps, like living in the same city first.) Going from being months apart to sleeping with him every night was just how I imagined: warm and fuzzy.
But then the months went on, and I learned what it’s really like to regularly sleep in bed with your boyfriend. It’s not all snuggles and cute shit, after all.
Fighting over who stole the covers off who is a constant battle.
If there is one thing we fight about most it’s who (apparently me) stole the covers during the night. To my defense, I am sleeping. I don’t do it on purpose. But my boyfriend believes I wake up in the middle of the night to purposely steal all of the covers because I take great pleasure in it.
If we’re not arguing about who stole the covers it’s who was hogging the bed.
Once you start to share a bed with someone, you need to choose a side. But before my boyfriend, I was used to a giant queen-size bed all to myself (and two cats). I was used to rolling around and sleeping right in the middle of the bed. Two years later, and I’m still struggling to stay on my own side.
Spooning lasts for about 73 seconds before it’s time to quit.
Everyone likes the idea of spooning. But the reality is, it’s annoying. After five minutes, the appeal is over. Although we both try to alternate the role, the problem is that one person (usually the big spoon) will always be uncomfortable. What are we supposed to do with that free arm? It’s either falling asleep or in an awkward t-rex position. Studies have been conducted, but scientists are still stumped on what to do with it. We’ve settled on pretzel legs instead.
Waking up to morning farts.
Ugh, there’s nothing more romantic than waking up to the sounds coming from your boyfriend’s butt. How come that was never added to the The Notebook? Oh right, cause it’s gross, but you know what? It happens.
You don’t always want to go to sleep at the same time.
Sometimes I want to read before bed, but my boyfriend is ready for the lights to be out. I’m put in a tricky situation. I don’t want to be selfish and tell him, “Tough shit. I want to read,” but I also don’t want to just give in and tell him, “Okay, I guess I’ll try and go to sleep, too.” So, what you do? You buy an eBook. And if that’s too expensive, a book light.
When one of you will be hot, the other will be cold (and vice versa).
Another thing that I never took in consideration was the room temperature. That was the least of my worries. But it’s inevitable that someone will prefer the AC temperature so low that the other will have to go to bed with three layers, plus a Snuggie on. [Note: There is a correlation between the person who steals all of the covers and who prefers the temperature so low.]
Sleeping with a boyfriend takes some time getting used to. But I have learned that I’d rather put up with the constant moans of who stole what and the morning farts than going to bed alone.
Originally posted on Life as Jamie writes it
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