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Sleeping with your baby: What are the benefits? Is it safe?

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The choice of where your baby is going to sleep is a personal and family-specific decision. A lot of parents have a preconceived notion about where their baby will sleep and then the baby's temperment changes all of that. A lot of the information available in the media and from public health authorities on co-sleeping (or bed sharing) is inaccurate and may serve to dissuade parents from making a choice that would work well for their family.

If you want to learn more about co-sleeping to decide if it is right for your family and also how to make it safe, please read on:

  • Benefits of Co-Sleeping: There are many advantages to sharing a bed with your baby including ease of breastfeeding, better sleep for mom and baby, mother can react more easily to baby, develops greater independence and self-esteem in children, and allows working parents more time to connect with their kids. Read this post to learn more about these benefits. 
  • Co-Sleeping Safety: There is a war on co-sleeping. Public institutions (sometimes in partnership with crib manufacturers) are spending our tax dollars to scare parents from bringing their babies to bed with them. The media is using fear inducing headlines and horror stories to garner readership. But here is the thing. Saying
    that co-sleeping is dangerous is like saying that riding in a car is
    dangerous. There is no way to make car travel completely safe, but no
    method of travel is completely safe.  Most reasonable people take
    precautions to make car travel as safe as possible, but some idiots do
    stupid things like drinking and driving, not wearing a seat belt,
    driving too fast, or not putting their children in car seats. It is the
    same thing with infant sleep. Babies do die in their parents’ beds. But
    they also die in cribs. There is no way to make either one completely
    safe, but co-sleeping is not inherently more dangerous than crib
    sleeping. In fact, when looked at objectively the statistics on infant
    deaths in various sleep environments show us that sleeping in an adult bed is twice as safe as sleeping in a crib once all  factors have been considered. Read this post to learn more about the relative safety of co-sleeping and how to create a safe co-sleeping environment for your family. 

These posts were authored by Annie @ the PhD in Parenting blog. 

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Erin Kotecki Vest 5 pts

I co-slept with both my kids. I barely woke to breastfeed (roll, plop out boob, roll back).

We were always amazed at how TIRED everyone we knew with a newborn was...when we actually slept really well because no one was getting out of bed.

I don't think with kids you sleep soundly regardless, but for me it was so much easier to NOT get up and walk down the hall...all I did was open my shirt and we all fell back to sleep.

My kids are now 3 and 5 and sleep in their own beds happily. Every so often they come back into my bed- if they are sick or something- but my kids never cried themselves to sleep or had to sleep alone and afraid if they didn't want too.

And they are totally normal kids, by the way. :D

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Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

phdinparenting 5 pts

I am one of those people that gets better sleep with co-sleeping. Most nights I don't even remember if my daughter woke up, but if she was sleeping in another room and I had to get out of bed, walk down the hall, sit in a rocker to nurse her, put her back in her crib, shush her to sleep, then walk down the hall again and get back into bed, I would remember that in the morning for sure! 

I wrote more about that here: Does she sleep through the night?  ( http://phdinparenting.com/2008/06/04/does-she-slee... )

PhD in Parenting - http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com ( http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com/ )

phdinparenting 5 pts

Maria:

A big part of deciding whether or not to co-sleep is knowing yourself. If you feel like you would roll over your baby and another sleep arrangement is working for you, then great.

Research has shown that breastfeeding mothers are generally very aware of their infant's presence and that the risk of overlaying is minute. However, people should still exercise caution. For us, using a bed top co-sleeper with our newborn was a good transition. He had his own space while we got used to having him there and then when he outgrew it, he just slept with us. When my daughter was born, I was more confident about my ability to feel her as I was an experienced co-sleeper at that point. 

PhD in Parenting - http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com ( http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com/ )

missbritt 5 pts

I don't know why, but that specific fear never occurred to me.

But I'm always amazed when people say they get better sleep with co-sleeping.  The only person who gets any sleep when one of the kids is in bed with us is the child.  And while that kind of martyrdom sounds fantastic, I don't have the strength of character for it. :-)

It's good for people to have the proper information though.  Parenting based on fear based on false info is bad for everyone involved.

Miss Britt

http://www.miss-britt.com

"Dignity is Overrated"

conversationswithmoms 5 pts

My husband's cousins sleeps with her newborn in the bed.  I also have a newborn (1 month) but I'm afraid I'll roll on him.  He sleeps next to be in his bassinet and I somehow feel safer.  I'm a heavy sleeper an move a lot during my sleep. 

My four year old has been co-sleeping with us lately and I have occassionaly rolled on top of his leg or arm. But he is old enough to wake me up and ask me to roll over. 

Maria Melo

http://www.conversationswithmoms.com