The Slippery Slope of the SAHM Resume
This afternoon I finally did it. I dug my decrepit resume from the bowels of my computer hard drive. Thank God I remembered to transfer it from the floppy disc it once filled several generations of computers ago. I think it belongs in those long ago days. It is ugly. It is barren. It has a great big seven year hole glaring out for all to see.
How do I escape from the SAHM black hole?
With half of Hubby's office about to get the ax and the survivors hoping to cope with pay and benefit cuts, I decided it might be time to test out the waters. I don't know if anyone will think I am qualified to hold any position. I keep reading horror stories of how college educated SAHMs can't even score an interview yet kids with the ink still wet on their high school diplomas get the job. And I suck at rejection.
After I nearly cried in desperation, I edited some of the job description/accomplishments/bragging passages. Honestly, they were so long ago I have no idea what "increased sales by 70%" means. Was it $20,000? $100,000? $1,000,000? "I cannot recall," would not be a suitable answer in an interview.
I am also a career changer. I do not want to go back to the retail 60-hour workweeks and insane customers unless my house is on the line. My last employer, the wonderful State of Florida, is currently laying off a significant portion of its experienced and dedicated staff (a.k.a. possibly the Hubby) so there are no opportunities there. What's a girl to do?
My main concern now is the black hole. Do I fill it with one of the snarky "SAHM & Domestic Goddess Engineer" job descriptions? It's not as if I have spent the last seven years on the couch eating Thin Mint cookies while watching HGTV (just a teeny tiny bit when Kiddo was just an infant and napping). I've raised an intelligent, independent, well-adjusted kid. I've kept us afloat on a single pitiful government employee salary. I taught myself new skills as I remodeled my house, doing most of the labor myself. I helped run a popular Moms' Group, been paid to taste popcorn and had interesting Japanese product engineers take samples of my hair. I write and take photos for a blog (although I never made any money from it) and I'm so close to completing the first draft of my novel (which I may now never finish).
But does any of that count on a resume?
To anyone out there in the real world I'm just a Stay At Home Mom.