For Smart, Press 3

Ironman says the smartphone is making us dumb. Not you and I, of course, but the collective us. You know, the teenagers gathered on the street corner, all on their phones texting each other. Or the idiot who checks the weather app to see what the temperature is instead of walking outside (oh wait, that one is me. I should be offended). Or the guy who erroneously winds up at a lake because he blindly accepts google map’s directions to the airport (clearly one of those new trendy underwater airports). But I say, Ironman, the smartphone is making me smarter. I do quite a bit of math when I check the weather app and I need to calculate the percentage of how often the forecast is completely inaccurate. Based on today’s findings there is a 10% chance of rain and a 120% chance it will rain all day. I also excel in other areas. The phone helps me improve my time management skills, such as how often I need to check that my pocket hasn’t accidentally turned it on silent. It helps me enhance my problem solving skills as I have become quite adept at detecting when my iPhone is ringing in a store full of imposters. Not only are my IQ points on the rise, my physical health couldn’t be better. I no longer have to bother the doctor with any pesky questions. With the Internet at my fingertips, my self-diagnosis is at an all-time high. This saves countless co-pays, which you guessed it, allows me to get the latest iPhone. That, my dear Ironman, is what I call smart.
Sent from my iPhone

Jenny B.,


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