Celebrity Autobiographies That Need to Exist for the Good of Humanity

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Bacon Bits, by Kevin BaconI mean, duh. This is a no-brainer, like Geiss Cubes from 30 Rock.Woah is Me: Blossom-ing Out of My Shell, by Joey LawrenceAm I the only one waiting for this? You know what, don’t answer that.I Once Got Busy in a Burger King Bathroom, by Humpty HumpSells itself, plus bonus fast-food advertising tie-in.Barack The Boat: Paddleboating With POTUSI’m envisioning a coffee table book with lots of glossy photos of Barry in cut-off shorts.You Can’t Spell Tyranny Without TYRA, by Tyra Banks.Optional subtitle: … or Tranny!Duckie Tales--OR!--Cryer me a River, by Jon CryerHe worked with Charlie Sheen for eight years. . . .

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