Explaining China's One Child Policy in My Daughter's Lifebook

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[Editor's Note: Many adoptive parents struggle with explaining the "whys" behind their child's relinquishment. The trend to create a Lifebook -- think baby book but for a child brought into a family by adoption -- tries to address some of that in a physical, you-can-touch-and-see-it way. Ellen at The Daily Grind shares how she tackled the difficult subject of China's "One Child Policy" in her daughter's Lifebook. She does it with simplicity and grace that could be used for other complex adoption situations, thus making this post a must read for adoptive parents. -Jenna]

Creating a Beautiful Lifebook: One Child Policy:

中国要富强,民族要兴旺,人口要控制This one is a biggie. Hang on.

I think it is essential for my daughter to know about the one-child policy. I think she needs to know the climate in China and the possible reasons her biological parents had for giving her up. She needs to know WHY parents abandon their children.

The one-child policy has a lot of information available on the internet. Just do a google search and you'll find many links. This is definitely an area to adapt as your child ages and matures. Right now, the simple explanation in Mae's book states:

"In China, parents may only have one child, maybe two if the first child is a girl. The reason for this is the Chinese tradition of caring for parents in their old age. A daughter leaves her family to live with her husband's parents but a boy will stay and care for his parents. This is why parents need to have a boy, to secure their lives in their old age."

This explanation, for the moment, soothes her.

How do you handle the "One Child Policy" if you've adopted from China? If you adopted differently than Ellen, how do you handle sharing your child's relinquishment story?

Photo Credit: timquijano.

Read more from Creating A Beautiful Lifebook: One Child Policy at The Daily Grind


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