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An Important Caregiving

Tip: Ignore the Guilt

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[Editor's Note: Caregivers have to deal with a lot of "stuff" -- and sometimes that's guilt being directed at the caregiver by their aging parent. Maria at Geriatric Care Management shares memories of how her paternal grandmother used to treat her mother -- and how her mother taught her a very important lesson about guilt and caregiving. -Jenna]

Does Your Aging Parent Try to Walk All Over You?:

grandma_handsI loved my paternal grandmother, but I didn’t like her much. That’s the truth, and now that I’ve written it I’m certain that my mother will gasp when she sees these words. Not because she felt all that differently than I did, but because it isn’t nice to say.

Sorry, Mom. Sometimes Grandma wasn’t nice.

She’d grown up with a sense of entitlement that was full-blown by the time she’d reached her 80′s and it wasn’t pretty. When she’d stay with us at Christmas she insisted on having a bell at her bedside so she could summon help. On one such occasion I remember Mom running toward the bedroom some 20 feet away upon hearing the ringing. The problem? Grandma’s clock was facing the wrong way and she couldn’t tell the time.

Oh the horror…

Photo Credit: hweiling.

Read more from Does Your Aging Parent Try to Walk All Over You? at Geriatric Care Management

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sheilam 5 pts

Great post Maria! I run a program to help long-term women caregivers reinvest in their own wellbeing and many talk about struggling with emotional family dynamics, especially where mother/daughter relationships are concerned. Sometimes it just helps to create dialogue about these kinds of issues. Thanks!

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Polish Mama on the Prairie
Polish Mama on the Prairie

A bit? You haven't met some of my in-laws. lol This was a great tip and well written.

Gaelyn Olmsted
Gaelyn Olmsted

Just because we love a family member doesn't have to mean we like them. Yet we can still hang on to dignity.

Deb Gray
Deb Gray

Oh please, so they can be a bit cranky and bossy, it happens. suck it up. There are *real* issues in to be dealt with in caregiving - this sure isn't one. Why can't people ever do the right thing without analysing it.

Stephanie Bernaba
Stephanie Bernaba

That IS the best caregiving tip ever. Now, just to enact it...