Facing Jury Duty
American citizens occasionally get 'the call' of duty - jury duty, specifically. Funny, we all want democracy to work but when our time comes, we usually try to wiggle out of it. Here are some tongue-in-cheek survival tips for any American facing a courthouse peer-gathering:
"Urge to Perjure Oneself – During your service, the court will ask you many questions to determine if you can be a fair juror. While you may be a completely honest person outside this process, you will constantly ask yourself if you can live with offering up a complete lie to be excused. If you decide to falsely declare that you are a bigot of any kind or that you don’t trust police officers in order to be excused, some sort of therapy might be in order as most jurors do not have the balls to do this. However, claiming that you believe police officers under all circumstances (even when you don’t) is more commonplace and as long as you feel a fair degree of guilt after you are excused based on this lie, you will not go to Hell."
Image credit: zzpza via Flickr, Creative Commons.