Gay Parents: Not Better, Just Different

I have always said that the second we divide things into better or worse we're just making it harder on ourselves. Well said! 

@ I just like the fact that they used a photo of me, my wife of 15 years and our 6 year old daughter. Because we are not better at parenting than anyone else and we are no different at parenting. We are just different parents.

In some ways, gay parents are better.

Now that I have people declaring me nuts, I'll say why. It isn't because of some super gay gene what makes us parentally inclined, its because of the good folks out there who don't like us queers doing things like get married or being parents, no matter how we come to be parents (pun not intended, dammit. I'm not that clever.)

Rather, we do a bang up job because when people are told they don't measure up, when they are told not to bother to apply to the club, well... it tends to irk. And when we do happen to make it to marriage and when we become parents, maybe the lot of us, more than the collective lot of hetero folk, give a stupendous effort.

Back in my pre days, on parent/teacher days, me and ex would be there, time after time. And who would I see? A lot of women and an occasional dad, one of whom made a grand show of his impatience, and finally split. Chances are with us queerents, both show up for the chats with teach, both actually chat it up.

In truth, how we parent is a function of individual effort and caring. A few other things, but those two matter the most. This isn't a knock on hetero parents doing a split schedule of duties. Hetero parents have a comfort level doing a split of parental duties such that one stays at work, in a way no queer I know would consider trying. We want it all, every ounce of the experience, because we crave it so, because maybe... someone will say 'see? They aren't good enough.' Hetero folk can get away with that sort of thing.

We can't.