I Didn't Expect to Have This Reaction to My Pregnancy

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[Editor's Note: How did you react when you learned that you were pregnant? I have three very different reactions to my three very different pregnancies; they range from "holy crap" in the bad way to "holy crap" in the good way. Natalie at Diary of a Girl Abroad shares her reactions to her always-wanted-but-still-very-surprising pregnancy. I think her thoughts -- the fear, the questioning -- are a normal progression of the mom-thought-process. Don't you? -Jenna]

Reality of Pregnancy:

Pregnancy WomanI still want to be a mother. I've always known I'd check in as a permanent resident of Heartbreak Hotel if I was one day told I'd never become one. I couldn't bear to think of it.

And now, I've been told I'm going to become one. Provided all goes well, of course. And I really do know how lucky and blessed that makes me.

But, here's the thing... Call me a dreamer, but I always thought that when that moment came, I'd tumble into a huge vat of happiness... Giddily rolling around in it like bubbles dancing in lemonade. But, the reality is, when I found out, my reaction was... different. I panicked. Worried. Freaked out. Wondered. Even cried.

This wasn't a planned pregnancy, this was a surprise. Some say that's the best kind. I kinda think they're all amazing. But, because a MAJOR life decision was made for me (can you say understatement?), the control freak in me froze. I wondered if I was really ready for this, if I could cope with a long pregnancy, if I have the skills to be a mother, if I am capable of putting my needs on hold for, I dunno... the next few decades. And all I saw when I walked the streets were babies crying and toddlers throwing tantrums.

Girl holding pregnancy belly photo via Shutterstock.

Read more from The reality of pregnancy. at Diary of a Girl Abroad

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