So this is what healing looks like....

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I went into the weekend with a fair amount of anxiety, unsure of what to really expect, unsure of how I would cope with it all.I did good.I know that it might not seem like a big deal, but the fact that I haven't collapsed into a heap yet is a sign of progress. A huge sign.I've had my moments, sure, but they haven't overwhelmed me. I don't feel like I'm being suffocated by it anymore.I stopped trying to find reason in everything that made no sense.I stopped laboring under the illusion that I could control anything beyond me.I stopped beating myself up for things I didn't do.I stopped wishing things were different.I stopped being so afraid.I just stopped.And you know what???I'm happy.For the first time in a long time.That long tunnel that seemed to go on forever really did have a light at the end of it, and I see it now that I've made it out the other side.Do I wish that I hadn't been forced through it? . . .

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