Is Swearing at Your Child Verbal Abuse?

I don't think the cursing is as much of an issue as the tone. That little boy probably would have reacted the same way whether she cursed or not. Kids know when someone is really unhappy with them and it goes far beyond the words. I don't really curse at all, and certainly not at my kids, but I don't think they hold nearly as much meaning for a young child as "stupid," "useless," "bad," and other things that are part of their regular vocabulary.

I suspect that parents who curse at their children had parents who cursed at them. It's a cultural divide (not like an ethnic culture, but a familial culture). If you're wondering what it does to a child to hear that growing up, look at the parent and you'll have your answer.

I agree that it isn't right, but I can't help but imagine that this woman is probably having a tremendously difficult struggle in her own life. I'm not sure it's up to us to be here judging this woman who, I'd be willing to bet, is weighed down by poverty and has few resources to help her. Her words to me sound like the words of a person under a great deal of strain. I think there are more proactive ways to deal with this situation. Maybe we should be thinking about what steps we can take to help parents who are facing extremely difficult situations.

We had dinner with neighbor last night. She mentioned that last weekend -- they were traveling as a family -- right in front of them, in a very busy tourist area, a father was screaming at his 10 yo son. " F-this, f-that." She said she has thought about and prayed for that child constantly. It so disturbed her 10 yo daughter that she has not been able to forget it. And talks about "that boy" constantly. We all said, if he would talk what way to his child in public, what must he do in private. How do you confront a stranger? If witnessing that display had such an effect on my neighbor's daughter, what irreparable damage must it be doing to that child, who must hear it over and over?

My drug dealing, child-neglecting neighbor regularly calls her children f-cking r-words -- and I just can't handle it. (Before you tell me to report her, been there, done that. She currently doesn't have the kids again -- though I was not the reporter in the most recent case.) My heart breaks for these children.

Oh - ugh!

I was at a community function not so long ago and kept hearing a mom berate her kids for making a mess, never listening, dropping their forks, etc. I could feel the mother's stress at wanting to fit in and have well behaved kids, but the constant criticisms for things that were very kid appropriate were hard to hear. Her kids are forming an identify of themselves as bad little brats. It's painful how they will carry that with them. Really painful to read about the boy in the store.