Trying to Feed a Teen By Letting Go

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If you're struggling while trying to get your teen to eat the good food you prepare, you need to read this post by Katie at Mom's Kitchen Handbook. She recently had a "lightbulb moment" and is rethinking her approach to feeding her teen. She has tips in her post that you must read if you're trying to figure this one out too!

She shares her new thought process:

One of the hallmarks of teenagerdom is independence. The more I push my food on her, the more likely she is to pull away. At 14, it’s practically her job to reject what matters to me most.

So I’m experimenting. The day after “the egg incident” I said nothing about breakfast, prepared nothing, and watched as she cut a grapefruit and made some toast. Yes, I wanted to chase her down the block with a hard boiled egg yelling, “but you need some protein!” But there are worse things. I’m giving her room to make her own good choices. I’m guessing she will.

In the meantime, I’ve come up with a game plan to approach feeding an adolescent. It’s my handbook, for now. I’ll learn as I go. Maybe it will be useful for you too, either now, or after you blink three times and have a teenager of your own.

Photo Credit: danzen.

Read more from Feeding a Teen and Other Parenting Party Tricks at Mom's Kitchen Handbook

Rites for Girls 5 pts

“Brown rice is not food!”

When did sliced white bread, toasted, and liberally covered in Nutella become the right food for lunch? And again mid-afternoon? And just before bed? And copious bowls of cereal – I once read that there is more nutrition in the box than in the cereal itself. Why are all my tasty nutritious snacks being turned down in favour of junk? What happened to a balanced diet for good health and a growing teen?

Suddenly everyone else’s homes are apparently a smorgasbord of appetising treats, whilst ours is declared a boring-food-zone. After all those years of chopping carrot sticks and stocking up on muesli bars, multi-packs of doughnuts are all that are wished for. My teenager is going through one of his greatest growth spurts and he wants to fuel it with chocolate bars and white bread.

Then I have to remember that I lived on iced coffee and peanuts in my late teens and I survived. I even evolved into a whole-food Mum. I have to trust that my child’s taste buds and body have been trained in nutritious eating for the first decade or so, and he will return there, once forays into the land of pot noodle and chewits have been made.

Trouble is I have younger children, who feel the injustice of the double standards. Yes, your brother can eat a round of toast before the meal, then smother his food in ketchup, but you cannot have toast now and must eat your greens.

Some say that ‘you are what you eat.’ Well, our teenager is certainly exercising his right to be who he is by choosing his own diet. It feels right that he should have some say over something as fundamental as what he eats, as long as it can largely fit alongside the family menu. I have always wanted mealtimes to be a communal time, not a battleground. So we prioritise family-harmony over perfect eating, accommodating changing taste and the need to self-determine in exchange for a continued willingness to all sit down together.

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dontmesswithmama 7 pts

I can see this being so tough, especially for a control freak like me. But this is such an important story of letting go and choosing your battle. It's much more important to give her independence. Kudos to you.

pamcy 5 pts

http://family.lifegoesstrong.com/article/kids-and-food-stop-forcing-my-daughter-eat

Conversation from Facebook

Kristie Van Houtum Bleers

Love the photo

Sophie Ka

The grapefruit and the toast is actually a better choice than animal protein. If she eats enough greens, nuts, beans she will be fine.

Christy Matte

I feel like a 14 year old should be making their own breakfast most of the time anyway. We were cooking meals for the family by then. By that age, you've set the foundation for eating habits. Bring healthy food into the house and give them some freedom to make choices.