Why Raising Kids In A City Is Like A Game Show

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Raising kids anywhere is a frightfully expensive endeavor. Raising kids in a city, where families typically fork over more than half their income for their rent or mortgage, is just… ridiculous. (Ahem. I'm talking from some experience here, I'll admit it.) But then, the added fun of raising kids in a city where it's ridiculously expensive to live surrounded by the world's wealthiest and most competitive parents? Well, we could call it hell, but instead, Christine from Quasi Agitato (which means, in a manner of speaking, very agitated—how fitting) calls it a Game Show! Let's listen in…

Raise That Kid!


The crowd goes wild.

Host: Thank you! Thank you and welcome back to the final round of "Raise That Kid!" The show where contestants go toe to toe for the privilege of raising an aesthetically pleasing, intelligent, well-adjusted child right here in beautiful New York City. Contestant #1 is Jody from the West Village. Start us off, Jody. How far are you willing to go to Raise. That. Kid!?!

game-show host and contestant

Jody: Well, Jim, I plan to raise that kid in my brownstone on Jane Street, with a full-time job, a spouse who also works full-time, a daytime nanny, an evening nanny, a vacation nanny, a housekeeper, a country home in the Berkshires and a summer home in the Hamptons.

Applause.

Host: Wow, Jody. Very impressive! Especially in this economy! Contestant #2 is Frances from the Upper East Side. Frances, can you do better than that?

Frances: I believe I can, Jim. I can raise that kid in my penthouse apartment on Sutton Place, with a part-time job, a spouse who’s always working or travelling for work, a post-partum doula, a full-time nanny, a housekeeper, a country home in Connecticut, and a time-share in Bermuda.

Jody: Ha! Well, Frances…I can raise that kid in a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights, with a full time job that allows me to telecommute two days a week, a spouse who works full-time, a full-time nanny, a housekeeper, a Land Rover, and just the summer home in the Hamptons.

Frances: Wel;…I can raise that kid in a loft in DUMBO and work freelance, my spouse will still have to work constantly but we can go the au pair route in order to keep the housekeeper, get a Lexus LX, and maintain the time-share in Bermuda.


To what depths will citified parents sink to Raise! That! Kid!? (Hint: It might look more like our lives!)Click HERE to find out!

Read more from Raise That Kid! at Quasi Agitato

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