So You Think You Can Dance Recap: The Finale, The Top Four, The Meh

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Was it just me, or was last night a big old let-down?

Maybe it was that there were just too many damn routines.

Maybe it was that the routines were therefore too short.

Or that the high number of routines made the dancers tired.

Or maybe it was that Kenny Ortega and Katie Holmes make very boring guest judges.

But last night left me a bit cold. Which was surprising after honestly thinking this was the best season in quite some time.

About the only thing that got me excited was seeing Cat in red lipstick and a simple silhouette. (Please Cat, no more bizarre monstrosities...especially Tribbles on your neck.)

Each contestant danced once with an all-star, once with each of the other three contestants, and once solo. I'll recap the pairs first, then briefly comment on their solos. To fit in all of that, as I mentioned above, the routines seemed short. And many of them seem under-rehearsed.

But, you know, it didn't bode well when the first number was the dreaded...

Courtesy of FOX

1. Melanie and Marko danced a Doriana Sanchez Disco routine, to I Feel Love by Donna Summer

Love the song. Hated the number. Talk about pulling faces! Dial it back, Melanie. And just overall, this was rough, including some rough dismounts from some lifts that should have been as easy as the numerous lifts Marko and Melanie executed flawlessly in Contemporary routines. So, we started off rough.

Courtesy of FOX

2. Sasha and all-star Mark danced a Sonya Tayeh contemporary routine to Raise your Weapon by Deadmaus

So, side note: Did Mark always look that buff? I kinda remember him being a scrawny guy. But now. Whoa, Nelly. Here's the thing: I would love to see Sasha do something graceful. I feel like she never was asked to stretch this's all about her flexed feet and crawling on the ground. She does that very well, but gimme something elegant and let's see if she can go outside her comfort zone.

3. Tadd and all-star Joshua danced a Lil C Hip-hop routine to Ace Hood's Hustle Hard

This was another rough routine. Mostly because they were not well-matched at all. It went beyond not being entirely synched. Tadd was better at anything that required litheness and agility, but Joshua was so much more hard hitting, so much more hardcore (except his belly, I think). Rather than seeming complementary, like they filled in each other's blanks, they just seemed awkward and poorly matched.

4. Melanie and all-star Robert danced a Stacey Tookey Contemporary routine to Sinead O'Connor's cover of Elton John's "Sacrifice"

I loves me some Robert. And this was lovely. But I feel like I've seen it before. Lots of lifting and splits in the air. And much easier landings than all those disco lifts. Lots of emoting too. But still, didn't feel original. But yum yum Robert. That is all.

5. Sasha and Marko danced a Spencer Liff Broadway routine to "Whatever Lola Wants" as sung by Ella Fitzgerald

So, this was Story #14 out of the 15 stock stories these choreographers pull out of the hat: Geeky guy and femme fatale. But herein lay the Sasha problem. You know how above I was wishing to see her do something graceful and elegant? Yeah, well, I take it back. It's not her thing. Clearly. To the point that her toes don't point that well, and her leglines aren't that pristine. And when she tries to have long and graceful lines, we are left wanting more. Or at least, better. The whole routine made me say "whatever".

6. Sasha and Tadd danced a Cha Cha routine by Mark Ballas to "Raindrops" by Basement Jaxx

Oh. My. This was terrible. Don't know who was worse. He had terrible posture. They seemed to be missing grips. She had no spark. Katie wussed out completely, along with Kenny, and muttered something positive about their overall performances all season. But Mary and Nigel could not hide their disdain. Neither of them deserves to win for this routine alone. It was like it was week one all over again.

Courtesy of FOX

7. Marko and all-star Lauren danced a Tessandra Chavez Contemporary routine to "Shirk" by Me'Shell Ndegocello

Now this one? It moved me. Same old story of unrequited love, but some really interesting movement to a unique tune. This was actually the first duo of the night that intrigued me...which is a little sad, no?

8. Tadd and Melanie danced a Ray Leeper Jazz routine to "Show Me What You're Workin With" by Sistah Monica

OMG. The meh, the MEH. (Picture me like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now...or was that Robert Duvall who said that?) Anyway, this was just so blurg I can't even express it. Yeah yeah, he cheated. Yeah, yeah, she ain't gonna take his shit. Yeah. yeah, but they're going to be sexy about that, OK? And it's going to look like an 80s video. Hated it!

9. Sasha and Melanie danced a Stacey Tookey Contemporary routine to Ahn Trio's "The Heart Asks Pleasure First" (from The Piano)

By this point, I'm getting tired. This was supposed to be all Julianne Moore in that movie about a bored housewife that was an homage to that 1950s filmmaker (help me out here!) But were they contemplating running off together and leaving their husbands for one another...more like Julianne Moore in The Kids Are All Right? 'Cause that would have at least livened things up a bit. I was getting pretty sick of generalized yearning and pathos by this point of the night. Just me?

10. Tadd and Marko danced a Chuck Maldonado Hip-hop routine (which was more like Stepping) to "B.O.B." by Outkast

They're tired. They're not synched. They have low energy. They're wearing rubber boots so you cannot hear the SOUND of their STEPPING. This was just an all around hot mess and big mistake. And a bummer way to close out the already-mediocre night.

Now, as harsh as I clearly felt about the duets, I actually thought their solos were quite nice. Both Melanie and Marko managed to make a big impression with just doing big split leaps and an excess of spins. They just showed their own distinct style in small movements. I like that.

Sasha did a solo that played up her crawly, flex-y, earthy style, so, you know, that was a smart thing to do.

Tadd did what he has consistently done: Focused on humor and musicality. It's always the same kind of humor and musicality, but it's still entertaining every time.

So, who will go. ALL. THE. WAY?????

I think Melanie takes it.

Marko comes in second.

Tadd and Sasha are the bottom two because of that horrific Cha Cha.

And that probably is the exact proper order.

But what did you think?

'Elisa Camahort Page
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