So You Want To Chop Off Your Hair: Invaluable Insights From A Short-Haired Woman

 

At some point in their lives, most women have toyed with the idea of cutting off their hair. Sometimes this happens after a life-changing event like a break up or having a baby. Other people get inspired after watching a lot of early 50s movies starring the ever-so-gamine Audrey Hepburn, or fashion spreads featuring the elfin Michelle Williams, or that blog about lesbians that look like Justin Bieber. Whatever the reason, you are now seriously contemplating cutting off your hair. And no, not some half-assed bob. We're talking the full monty here, or pixie. You want it gone. And, you probably have some questions. That's where I come in. After years of going back and forth between flippy shortish haircuts and long Farrah Fawcett waves I finally took off my skirt, grew some balls, and let a gay man give me a pixie cut. I learned much from this experience. And I want to share this hard earned knowledge with you, dear readers.


Some basics to consider before making the cut:

Face shape:
This is important because you want your hair to balance out your face, if that makes sense. If you have a round face, pixie cuts probably aren't a good choice. Oval or heart shaped faces benefit most from this cut. Square faces only exist in women's magazines. I mean, really.

Hair texture:
It seems like people with fine hair texture have an easier time with this look. My hair is pretty thick, so once I get out of pixie-length territory things get awkward for a few months. Also, if you have super curly hair and don't want to look like second season Felicity, step away from the scissors.

Other features:
When your hair is really short, it makes people pay more attention to the rest of your face. There is no place to hide with a pixie. If you're someone who enjoys playing up your eyes then congratulations! A pixie will help. If you are someone who considers your long, shiny mane your best feature then I'm sorry, no pixie for you.

Now, if you’re still interested, here are some other things to keep in mind…

This hair cut will define you in ways you aren't prepared for:

So, right now maybe people think of you as 'the funny girl' or 'the girl who wears dresses a lot' or 'the girl that keeps drunk-texting me on Wednesdays'. Well, forget all that. You will now be known exclusively as 'the short haired girl'. Even though it seems like 'everyone' Hollywood is getting pixie cuts, in reality it's just Emma Watson, Carey Mulligan, and Michelle Williams. The rest are still sticking with long hair. This is applicable to the real world as well. If you make the cut, be prepared to stand out because of it. One time I was at a party and there was another girl with short hair. We looked nothing alike and were wearing completely different outfits, but people kept confusing us simply because we both had short hair. But, being 'the short haired girl’ can be nice, like when random people compliment my hair in bars. However, sometimes it's annoying, like when random people mistaken me for a dude if they see me from behind. Which brings me to...

Be prepared for people to think you're a dude:

I'm not saying it's definitely going to happen. I just want you to be prepared in case it does. Don't take it personally! People are just dumb. They see short hair and they automatically think: MAN.
Yes, it is easier than long hair but...

The most common question I get from people (ok, women) is "How easy is your hair??" This is more of a statement than an actual question but yes, short hair is much easier to deal with than long hair. For instance, I have been using the same normal-sized bottle of shampoo since February. I also spend way less time styling my hair than I did when it was long. However, you are pretty much limited to just one style. Yeah, you can throw a headband on or add some cute bobby pins but really, it's the same thing. I used to be able to do all kinds of different hairstyles: Up, down, half-up, half-down. Curly, straight, curly and straight. You get the idea. Sure, it took 2 hours sometimes, but it was worth it. Now I just look the same, every day.

You will look ridiculous every morning:

When you have long hair you can do things like roll out of bed and go outside to buy milk or have some sexy morning sex, because you have sexy, sexy bed head and everyone loves long-haired girl bed head. You know what isn't sexy? Short-haired girl bed head. It's like sticking your head in a whirlpool and then drying it in a wind tunnel.  When you have short hair you should really consider doing something to it before anyone sees you. My boyfriend actually still laughs at me every morning and I’ve had this haircut for 8 months. Invest in a spray bottle and some hats. And maybe don't have sleepovers with your significant other unless you’re past the ‘I’m actually trying’ phase, like me.  When (or if ) you decide to grow your hair out, it will be painful:  Not in the physical sense, more in the ‘oh God I am verging on a Carol Brady shag’ painful. It’s ok, you can get past this. Trim it if you absolutely must, but if you’re really serious about growing out a pixie cut you have to brace yourself for moments (well, weeks) like this. Actually, for me the biggest thing that held me back from getting a pixie was knowing how long it would take for my hair to grow out again (a year) and how awkward it would look in the beginning (so awkward). But sometimes, you just have to go for it, even if you aren’t 100% sure: Before I cut my hair I spent a lot of time trying to imagine what it would be like to have short hair, but I only really knew until I actually did it. If you've been going back and forth for a while, like over a year, then just do it. Worst-case scenerio: You absolutely hate it. Well, at least you won’t be wondering anymore. And guess what? Hair grows back. 

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