Which Platform Speaks Your Social Media Love Language?


Do you dream in comments?

By high school I'd taken several years of Spanish class. My teachers told me that I'd know I was fully assimilating my second language when I began dreaming in Spanish.

Which has yet to occur.

In the same manner that we each have our preferred love language (of the five biggies: time, affirmations, gifts, service, touch), I had a theory that we also have our preferred social media love language. The five biggies in the online world might be blog comments, Facebook Likes/Shares, Tweets/Retweets, Pins, and other bookmarking tools.

I began blogging when the blog comment was the only social media love language (with the possible exception of the forum thread comment). Blog comments are my first language, the one closest to my core, the currency that matters most to me.

 Photo Credit: K Hurley via Flickr

So I checked my theory by asking around on Twitter  and Facebook (not my blog -- go figure) to see if there is a connection between one's doorway to social media and one's language of love.

My hypothesis held some water. Like me, others who started with blogging value comments most.

  • m of The Maybe Baby. "Being a blogger first, Tweeter and Facebooker a distant 2nd and 3rd, blog comments will always be first in my heart. But maybe because that means you're conversing with the realest of the me's. You've seen my bumps and bruises and outbursts, and still want to connect."
  • Kir of The Kir Corner: "My first love will always be the relationships I made by telling my own story on my blog."
  • Kait of Pictures and Print: "Blogging is definitely my first and true social media love. It's the best."

But the converse of my theory proved to be a sieve. Even people who started with Facebook or Twitter consider the blog comment the epitome of love currency.

  • Katie of Polka Dots and Sunshine: "I joined Facebook  =first.  But nothing compares to the love and support that I found once I started blogging after my miscarriage in 2007. There was a world out there that I didn't know existed. I could write out my feelings and people were there with virtual hugs and support in the form of comments. The comments come whether you are happy, sad, angry, or frustrated."
  • JJiraffe of Too Many Fish To Fry: "I started with Facebook, but still value comments most. They are immediate feedback but are also easily revisited. It's hard to keep track of what people have said on Twitter or Facebook."
  • Monika of Monika's Musings: "My first experience with social media was with Facebook.  But it wasn't until I started a blog and received comments that I felt the true sense of community that social media aims to achieve."

JHL from A Half-Baked Life tells why certain coinages just don't measure up. "Facebook shares are nice but don't warm my heart. One reason I love blogging so much is because of the potential depth of relationships. Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest were all created with the sound bite in mind, and I can't develop deep relationships through sound bites."

As many point out, though, one cannot live by comment-love alone.

  • Andrea of Lil-Kid-Things:  "I love comments because it reminds me of why I am blogging in the first place - to CONNECT with people. Yes it has become my business, but I want a community, not an audience (to steal from Brogan)."
  • Catherine of Evolving Mommy: "I love pins, stumbles and shares because not only is someone giving you positive feedback they are also sharing with their friends and followers so it's like a double thumbs up."
  • Rajean Blomquist: "Comments validate my writing.  But I also love it when I find people sharing my content."
  • Keiko of The Infertility Voice: "Lately I've been digging the Facebook comments/shares. Seeing how many folks are sharing my items is also pretty neat too, even though I have it on my blog via Shareaholic, it's more intuitive on Facebook and I can see exactly who shared my content - and in what context by how they describe that share (if they do)."
  • Lucretia M. Pruitt of The Social Joint: "I blogged first, but a FB share means more to me -- that people are willing to share something with their friends. Comments are always good, no matter where."

Comments give personal validation, but other currencies are more practical. Candace of Naturally Educational makes the distinction. "It depends on your content. Comments are my personal fave, but to boost traffic, I find Facebook and Pinterest to be tops on my education site."

Chris from Mama Bird's Blog concurs. "A blog comment is what warms my heart the most. If we were talking practical, though, it would be a share."

For me?  Shares/Likes/Tweets/Pins are wonderful and maybe even more sensible than blog comments. I can't think of a time when a post of mine went viral because of a comment, but there have been a dozen instances in which a RT or a Share has spiked my traffic five-fold.

Sensibility aside, though, the blog comment remains my first love language, the bloggy equivalent of chocolate and roses.

What was your doorway into social media? What is your preferred online love language?

Lori lives in Denver with her husband and two children. Her first book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption, will be published in 2013 by Rowman & Littlefield. She accepts all forms of social media currency at Write Mind Open Heart, on her Facebook Page and on Twitter.


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