Social Media Is a Warm Gun: A Dangerous Tweet About Depression

This was an extraordinary blog. Extraordinary. Hitting every friggin' nail on the head you've constructed a supreme foundation for droves of individuals to start rebuilding their lives. Thank you. Simply awesome.

Morgan, I think it is important to point out that depression, as you alluded to has very real chemical and biological triggers.
http://www.dailyrx.com/news-article/scientists-find-dna-linked-depressio... ( http://www.dailyrx.com/news-article/scientists-find-dna-linked-depression-13753.html )
This article discuses the findings of a recent study that have looked at the specific genes that trigger depression.

Awesome post!

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This is exactly the problem that constantly faces those with depression. It is a known and accepted DISEASE which kills more people than breast cancer does, but people keep thinking that depressed people should just suck it up. Would anyone tell a cancer patient that?

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit

thank you.
I have struggled with major clinical depression and anxiety for 2 1/2 years. I am just healing, have found 'me' since July/August. If I had glimpsed that tweet while in the depths of it all? Oh. I can't even comprehend. It would have confirmed every.single.thing I KNEW. I've seen your blog title floating around and never clicked. Why?? I'm on my way.

Kim

"I wish that they were able to grasp the damage that fewer than 140 characters can to on those who are struggling with it now."

AMEN. That. Yes.

I had it, too. I couldn't have said this better. Depression is an illness. Giving people a foghorn who have never, or will ever, have acute awareness of such a serious disease is dangerous. I hope whomever reads that, if in that space, understands it's not gospel. I love you for trying to ease that person's mind.

We are absolutely not crazy lazy or any of those other things. We are people with an illness like any other, and we deserve to be able seek treatment without judgment.

I am so SO glad that you are here to read this. FIGHT.

Thank you - of course you can share it with whomever you see fit!

Dear Morgan,

I'm writing the day after I was released from my two weeks of partial-hospitalization therapy which followed an aborted suicide attempt. My depression and anxiety had (once again) gotten the better of me and I saw no other way out of the pain. Fortunately, I panicked and changed my mind after I took the pills, and got through it.

Tweets such as the one you mentioned are perfect examples of why people should offer "advice" on subjects about which they know nothing.

Thank you for your post, and for reminding us that we are NOT crazy, lazy, or any of the other dismissive words people use to trivialize our disorders

Beautifully written, and so very true.

With your permission, I'd like to cross post this to my LiveJournal list.

Thank you for this post. I suffer from depression. There are days that I do not get dressed, eat, and barely breath. Someone that has never suffered from it should never pass judgment or make such unfair statements. That could be that comment that pushes someone off the edge...literally. I am far from selfish...in fact a lot of my depression comes from trying to please everyone. I do nothing for myself. I thank you for speaking up and being a voice for us.

Please don't cry. :) I'm cuddling with my little sweet girl right now.

AMEN to THAT.

I know what you mean - my posts also tend to fiercely reflect my moods. I've just discovered Owning Pink. I've also found #PPDCHAT on twitter to be a great resource for Postpartum mood disorders specifically.

But even now, looking back, for some reason it can still be hard for me to admit that I dealt with (and still deal with) depression. I keep taking steps forward, I work on accepting that as a part of myself that I will always struggle with and continue to be aware of. I have dealt with depression since I was 6 years old, hiding on the playground and thinking that if I never showed up in class again no one would ever notice or care. So just stepping outside yourself and doing something for others when you are 6 years old?? It is ludicrous.

I keep struggling, moving forward, finding new tools to deal with this depression that has followed me my whole life, and even knowing all that I look back to last year and find it hard to admit to myself "yes, I was depressed, clinically. It wasn't a personal failing, or weakness, it is a chemical imbalance that I will continue to work with for the rest of my life." I still occasionally find myself short of breath, having hot flashes, hysterical at the thought of having to ask for help in something as simple as a ride to the store because my car isn't working. Fortunately this isn't as frequent as it used to be and I have learned tools to work through that instead of succumbing to it.

Anyway, I don't know that this has much to do with the original post...I just wanted to share my experience because this touched a nerve. Netbook ( http://www.netbooknb.com/ )

That statement is simply uneduacated. People who say such things obviously have never had a full on bout with depression. I have clinical depression and meds usually help me deal with it but even with them sometimes I fall into the deep pit.

Thanks for confronting such an uninformed statement head on.

Julie Moore

This is an excellent post. I've personally been guilty of not fully understanding PPD and posting about it. I didn't understand at the time how much my words may have upset people. I since took that post down, I would never want to elevate someones depression or anxiety due to me ignorance about a subject. Once again, you rock Morgan. xoxo

KristiMaristi

www.kristimaristi.com

Wonderfully well said.

Kelly writes as Guilty Squid, A Self Proclaimed Internet Superstar ( http://guiltysquid.com )  to make herself laugh

I tell no lies when I say that if it weren't for the BlogHer conference, you, Jenny, ( http://thebloggess.com ) and the lovely lady who commented below you, I would never have had the courage to write about my experience. So thank YOU for THAT.

These stories break my heart and infuriate me all at once. I have a young child very close to me who struggles from depression and it tears her Mom apart. It's for the young sufferers that I feel it's the MOST important we break down stigma.

Great recommendation - I'm also reading "The Noonday Demon" by Andrew Solomon right now, and it's a great resource written from an inside perspective.

Thank you, and as you know getting out is well worth all fighting. It sounds like you've got a great grip on your condition. xx

You are welcome. Thanks for reading. :)

So thanks.

KLZ

http://www.taminginsanity.com

Well, he's a dude. Who Googled stuff that one time. And thought about some things. And then decided maybe it would be fun to share them with his MySpace friends. And now he seems to consider himself the second coming of Ghandi. Which is pretty scary considering his sheep (and Kim Kardashian's as well, which is even scarier) seem to actually buy into all his bullshit.

Kalexa blogs about everything from motherhood to stinkbugs at That's What She Said ( http://twss-blog.blogspot.com ).

I swear I saw that same thing the other day right after the depression tweet too. I wonder if he's recycling them.

"But there is one silver lining to depression that Kipp will never understand - that when we do seek treatment & do get better, we come out of it more compassionate. Loving. Empathetic. Less selfish."

So true, my friend. So very true.

Thank you for your post, it is good to know that I am not the only one who has been shaken to the core by someone's misguided words.

Tori is the creatrix behind Cellar Door Beauty ( http://cellardoorbeauty.wordpress.com ) 

16 hours ago from 4:46 PM CST 1/3/2011:

Its always your decision 2 be empowered or frozen by traumatic events. The meaning u give 2 what happens determines the quality of your life

Who is this douchebag??

Happy New Year.

Stigma. It all comes down to the stigma of mental health issues. I mean, he never would have said cancer exists in selfish people.

I suffered from PPD and it sucks big time, you described those feelings so real so vivid. I want to curl up in a ball and cry, because I remember those dark days so unbelievably well. Thank you for expressing your feelings, letting us and the world in on what it feels like to feel that way on a daily basis with the feeling that you never get better. You will. I hope you will. This will help, awareness they say is the first step. Beautifully written post. Be well.

If only there were so many more people that truly understand. That "get it." But unfortunately, I think you have to be through the hell of depression or love someone who has to fully comprehend how life-consuming & life-altering depression can be.

Sometimes, I want to scream at people - "THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT." I couldn't see outside of myself. It was all I could do on a daily basis to shower & feed myself, much less worry about world conflicts or the hungry down at the local rescue mission. That selfishness of depression? It's called SURVIVAL.

But there is one silver lining to depression that Kipp will never understand - that when we do seek treatment & do get better, we come out of it more compassionate. Loving. Empathetic. Less selfish.

Too bad Kipp couldn't see past the illness to see the people it can create.

http://theheirtoblair.com

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Instead, you are awesome. Thank you for this piece. Even though, as you said, I'm sure Kipp didn't mean to hurt anyone, you never know how much what you say can really devastate someone.

I wish YOU were the one with the 300k followers. People trying to erase the stigma of mental illness never seem to get as much attention as people like Mr. Kipp ... that's bass-ackwards if you ask me.

Katherine Stone at Postpartum Progress ( http://www.postpartumprogress.com ) @postpartumprogr

Ironically, I found this in a friend's Twitter feed. Terrific post, even though the person who needs to see it the most never will.

I struggled with depression for most of my adult life. It got a lot worse when we adopted our daughter. Finally, I went into an outpatient program last year. Meds and therapy have helped a lot, but my moods still come and go.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of stereotypes and jacka**es who like to propagate them. Suicidal people are seen as "selfish" as well, which makes my blood pressure rise through the roof.

Thanks again for being brave enough to write about this.

I'm so glad that I had never seen that tweet, because I know that I would not have kept silent. My 13 yo daughter has had depression for a little over 2 yrs now. I know the girl she was before it, and I know the girl she is now. Luckily, she is slowly coming out of it as hers is dysthymia (spelling) which only last 2 or 3 years. But the fact is, if not for her teacher last year, who used to be a nurse and had depression herself due to the loss of a child, i would have not known. my daughter wanted help and I got it for her. The best self help is knowing that sometimes you can't do it on your own and asking for the help. This tweet, to me, is like the people who always say, "It's all in your head." "You just need to go out and do things." I know exactly what this feels like, because being misdiagnosed several years before finding out I had hashimoto's, and going through the depression, I had people around me tell me the same thing. What's worse is that even doctors would say those things.

i think social media can be an amazing and helpful thing, but it's people like that that make it hard for those who can and really want to help, do so.

Ciara

That tweet made me angry. I struggled with depression when I was in college. I considered ending my own life because it felt that bad, that hopeless every day. It wasn't that I was selfish, it was that I was sick.

I got on anti-depressants and leveled out. After a year I was able to get off of them and then 2 years later was crippled with anxiety. I couldn't go to my classes, I couldn't drive to visit my boyfriend (now husband). I couldn't eat. I lost 40 pounds in 3 months. I went back to medication and things got better. Even now, more than 5 years later, anxiety plagues my everyday life though it is much more well controlled even without medication.

I am sure that The Daily Love had good intentions. But if you're committed to love, calling people who are struggling with depression selfish is just wrong. Why not tweet that those who know someone with depression should offer a shoulder or an ear, or better yet, love. I'm glad that the person behind those tweets has never struggled through true depression, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I wish that they were able to grasp the damage that fewer than 140 characters can to on those who are struggling with it now.

http://overflowingbrain.com

The realization that you are not alone, more often than not, has to come after you admit that there is an actual problem.

When I suffered from PPD the first time, I had no idea what I was experiencing. I thought I was just being overwhelmed with motherhood, that my feelings were somewhat normal and, if they weren't, then I was just simply failing at motherhood. I didn't know that I needed to reach out to anyone in the PPD groups because I simply didn't know I had PPD.

Once I did realize it, in those initial weeks of seeking help via a therapist and medication, if I had seen that tweet... I wouldn't have reached out to others in the community. I likely would have quit going to therapy. I would have felt personally responsible for my depression and more of a failure as a mother.

Eventually, reaching out to the community came and helped me in ways that I can't even begin to describe. But prior to the point that I was ready, negativity towards depression in general would have done much more harm than good.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

I definitely think the guy is childishly glib. "Master" still cracks me up... Isolation might have been a better choice of words than selfishness was.
There is no generality that will perfectly describe any human condition, but in my own case, the expectations I put on myself to "behave", "perform" etc, and staying locked in my own head was almost my undoing.
Though I still say you cannot cure depression inside your self because that's where the problem lies, I think we agree on the most important point: this "thing" will kill you if you let it and it's not something you can combat with 140 thumb strokes.

Tracy L Cartmell

Cookedheads

cookedheads.blogspot.com

I love everything about this comment - not only what it said, but the way it was said.

Kalexa blogs about everything from motherhood to stinkbugs at That's What She Said ( http://twss-blog.blogspot.com ).

Ha - far from stupid, but I do think it's a little bit of an idealistic mentality, and here's why -

(I'm about to copy and paste an excerpt from a response I wrote to a commenter on my own site, where this post originally appeared - yup, I'm quoting myself. Sorry.)

"What I was going through was the complete and total inability to motivate myself in any way shape or form. My life fell into complete disrepair, almost as if it were an abandoned property – me, the caretaker, had completely checked out. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I had constant systemic symptoms – the chemical imbalance that was responsible for my postpartum depression affected my blood pressure and heart rate, and even caused loss of consciousness on a couple of occasions. When in public, I would become disoriented, sweat to an embarrassing degree, and was constantly being asked to sit down and offered water and assistance. Humiliating. At it’s worst, I would vomit (or worse) to the point of expelling blood from both ends whenever I tried to eat.

In layman’s terms, my fight or flight reflex had gone haywire and my adrenaline wasn’t turning off. EVER. Combine that with the loss of motivation typically associated with depression, and you have a very special kind of physical and emotional hell."

That's where I was when I had to seek help. Before there was psychiatric intervention, there was community intervention from my friends and loved ones who did everything they could to get me out of my house and functioning again. It didn't make the physical symptoms stop. I managed to do just enough work to not completely flush my career down the toilet, but that was about the most I could manage as deep into it as I was.

To be clear: I'm not calling myself a victim here, or claim that depressed people can't help themselves, I'm simply hoping to point out that while this:

"If you are not yourself, and anyone who is depressed can tell they are not "themselves" you can either stay focused on yourself and all the things that you think you are, about how crappy you are, about how fat you are, about how much better than you everyone else is, about how unfair it all is, about how bad life is for you, or you can begin to look out side your self and the small sack of stories you've fallen into. It's dark in there. Outside, with other people, is perspective, is better brain chemistry, is the realization that you are NOT alone."

is definitely true, it's difficult to get out there and start functioning when you're bleeding from both ends at the very thought of doing so.

And I think we definitely agree that underlying point or no, delivering the sentiment in the manner Kipp did was grossly irresponsible and potentially dangerous for those in the throes of their own depressive episodes.

You're so right - the key to conquering depression is 1.) admitting you have it (or at least that "something's not right") in the first place and 2.) seeking help for it once you do. But getting to both of those points is hard, especially when there's still such an unfortunate stigma attached to depression. And people like Mastin Kipp saying that depression exists in "selfish" people only reinforce that stigma.

Kalexa blogs about everything from motherhood to stinkbugs at That's What She Said ( http://twss-blog.blogspot.com ).

I not only suffered from postpartum depression after my daughter (now 13 months old) was born, I also struggled with depression earlier in my life before being diagnosed with it 10 years ago. When I was 25, I was diagnosed with Dysthymia, a low-grade but chronic form of depression. I was suffering a major depressive episode at the time and credit Paxil and a wonderful therapist named Phil with literally saving my life back then. I've since suffered less severe bouts of depression, which I managed through exercise and other hobbies (until the PPD, that is, which I managed with the help of Celxa).

When I was in the throes of depression, I didn't care whether I lived or died; didn't care about my job or my livelihood; didn't care about paying my bills; I didn't even care about eating to stay nourished. I just didn't care about life. Every fiber of my physical and emotional being was in pain and it was an oppressive, suffocating pain. I felt weak, worthless, confused, and inadequate. And when the PPD hit, I felt all of those things all over again plus unfit to breed and unworthy of my husband and daughter's love.

If I'd read Mastin Kipp's tweet during either of those periods in my life, I also would've felt ashamed. But now it just makes me angry. People like Mastin Kipp (and Tom Cruise), who have never experienced depression and have no idea what a debillitating disease it is, have NO business waxing philosophical on it, especially when they have easily-influenced fans hanging on their every word. In fact, they really just need to STFU.

Kalexa blogs about everything from motherhood to stinkbugs at That's What She Said ( http://twss-blog.blogspot.com ).

Thanks for sharing - I'm very interested to read the vagus nerve research, I had a couple of incidents, which I'm about to comment on below where my anxiety triggered IBS and resulted in vacovagal syncope. (have no idea if I'm spelling that right.)

1) i have suffered from depression periodically for years. the unwashed, stare at the wall, let the dishes grow plant life, keep the lights off, contemplate "just going to sleep and staying that way", in bed kind and have been medicated as well as therapied for it.
2) depression is chemical. it is genetic. it is brain diabetes. take your medicine. get help from someone with perspective.
2) the guy has a point.

before you black ball me, hear me out, or don't, but if you don't, you're as guilty as Master (me laughing ) Kipp. Seriously, dude? Master?
Let's use the diabetes analogy. If you have undiagnosed diabetes and you feel like crap you can either go see someone about it, or stay the course.
If you are not yourself, and anyone who is depressed can tell they are not "themselves" you can either stay focused on yourself and all the things that you think you are, about how crappy you are, about how fat you are, about how much better than you everyone else is, about how unfair it all is, about how bad life is for you, or you can begin to look out side your self and the small sack of stories you've fallen into. It's dark in there. Outside, with other people, is perspective, is better brain chemistry, is the realization that you are NOT alone.
having said that, take your medicine, get help. it is as chemcical as diabetes, but that doesn't mean you need to eat a sack of candy in the case of diabetes or consume your own negative press if you have depression.
okay, now you may tell me how stupid I am. ;)

Tracy L Cartmell

Cookedheads

cookedheads.blogspot.com

Such a great posting and great comments. Especially the one from onblank - the neat feature of depression - being kind to others in the same boat when we can't be kind to ourselves.

I think there are so many factors to depression it can be hard to know where to start. I'm sure I had postnatal depression after my second child (who arrived 17 months after the first one) but had no idea even what it was or how to frame it. I just blamed myself for the 'bad' feelings and not knowing how to cope. It can be a desperate, desperate place to be.

Having had hormonal based depression in my younger years, I've been told I might have PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder), 'simply' means I get depressed every time I ovulate or menstruate. So, twice a month, at least. This is because of extended use of the contraceptive pill in my earlier years, which I was told was 'safe' combined with some anti-depressant use. Not told until my mid-thirties that this might be a side effect. Now I've turned to alternative remedies to help with my symptoms. I'm moving towards better and better solutions but will not be taking any more 'pharma' solutions which gave me PMDD in the first place.

Always check the physical as well as the emotional, there are so many factors that affect our hormonal balance. Soon be posting some great new research about vagus nerve degeneration and hormonal imbalance on my blog...please look out for it and share with as many people as you can. Thanks for being so open everyone.
Sarah
http://www.momonaspiritualjourney.com

The very existence of that tweet is a slap in the face of anyone who's ever struggled with depression. Step outside of yourself? When depressed, I don't even know who I am anymore.

Social media is best used thoughtfully, by those who think before they tweet.

There will always be people who reinforce stigma -- not just perpetuate it. These people, floating in their ignorance, simplify problems. It's terrible and I'm sorry you had to deal with this. Thanks for sharing this. I'm sure it will help people who also suffer with depression. I hope it will also help people who have Retweeted this, or agreed with this, see how immensely wrong it is.

I blog about the arts and health and disability issues regularly at http://loveablehomebody.blogspot.com/

It's my experience that often depression is the result of being unselfish. We want to give and do for everyone and we can't, and it sucks and that leaves us depressed.

For me it doesn't feel justified, if anything it's just the opposite, which makes it all the worse. I feel guilty for being depressed and for what it's keeping me from doing or being, and that just makes me more depressed. Luckily, I'm very introspective and have been able to identify it in myself when it gets bad, and therefore find someone to help me do something about it.

this: "another neat feature of depression, it lets you punish yourself mercilessly while you offer earnest compassion to others" is so incredibly true I want to tattoo it on my own forehead.

And ditto on the eating front, my the first thing my psychiatrist prescribed for me was food.