So...Do you still love them or what?!
By bigsister on August 25, 2010
Can people actually stay friends with their exes? Now, I mean really friends - Not friends with benefits, not staying together for the kids - I mean actual friends. Before you say "yes" (because that's the best "FU society!" answer that makes us all seem way cooler and way better adjusted then we are). Think about your exes....
Women tend to keep men around after break-ups for a few select reasons: We feel evil for breaking their hearts, we need someone fawning over us until someone better comes along, we got dumped, or we think they're great in bed and they'll do for the meantime. On the flip side, men keep exes around because they either just can't let go of the relationship fully or they believe there is a very real possibility they get to see you naked again. Period. That's it.
So where does this leave us? All the options do not lead to a successful "friendship" following a break-up; both sides have an agenda. One side is always hoping the other will take them back or at the bare minimum put out again.
Now, none of this is an issue when you’re single. If you want to talk, flirt, sleep with your ex...have at it my dear! I wonder where do we draw the line when we're dating someone else? Is it acceptable to talk to exes when you've moved on? Me personally... I say no, it's not acceptable. Here's the reason - it's weird for the new guy or girl. It just is, it's freaking weird. No matter how cool you say you are, you can't help but feel awkward when your new BF/GF is still hanging on to random tidbits of their past. Cut ties or you'll just sabotage your new relationship. There's just no honest way in hell we're going to be real friends again with these people. For starters there's a reason we broke up in the first place - one person couldn't stand the other anymore (could be both, but then I'm sure you wouldn't want to stay friends in that case).
Going to a movie, dinner or concert with an ex (while your dating someone else) is strange.... you’re just continuing that old relationship in a way, and if you're dating someone else you SHOULD be doing those things with them. If you don't want to do those things with them then stop wasting everyone's time.
** SIDE NOTE** If your ex has moved on, you need to do the same. You popping up with birthday gifts left at the door, wall posts, random drunk texts and emails just makes more trouble with our new potentials. Stop! It's over, so let it be over. There's a fine line between thoughtful and creepy, and if we're broken up it almost always is creepy.
There's nothing wrong with a little morbid fascination.... Wait a few years, check them out on FB. Trust me it's fascinating and you're normally happy you got out when you did.
What do you think girlies? Have any of you had successful friendships with exes that didn't involve games? Do you want your beau talking to his ex?
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