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This is a chapter from my upcoming book "It's My Wedding and I'll Cry if I Want to!" Hopefully coming out in early 2009. Enjoy!
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Okay, it's 2:28 a.m., and I'm in the guest bedroom of our parent's friend's condo in Naples, Florida. The situation's a red alert. I repeat, red alert. We're nine-and-a-half weeks away from "Wedding Day" and counting.
Ron and I booked a show in Naples together. It's a singles' conference. We're both doing our stand-up and comedy acts separately but on the same roster. I'm still legally allowed to do my bitter single act, and so is he. The audience will have no idea we even know each other outside of comedy. My act hasn't changed yet and the "single" thing is so much fun. Ranting and raving, I'm not too anxious to stop it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, I always say.
Okay, back to the issue at hand. Ron and I have both committed to going on pre-wedding diets for many reasons - health, our mothers' nagging about my size-zero dress, and mainly because those wedding pictures last forever and they ain't cheap. Oh yeah - it can't hurt to be fit for our Hawaiian honeymoon either.
We've been doing pretty well on our diets in California. I found a trainer, and Ron joined a gym. We've made dietary changes as well and have been very disciplined about it. My biggest challenge was getting off the crack, I mean sugar. It's my big vice. As you may remember from my last book, I have a severe problem with sugar. It's a disease I tell you. I read in a medical journal that sugar is as addictive as any drug. I'm living proof of that, one-hundred percent, especially if I am within a 100-yard radius of doughnuts or candy. The only plan for me is cold turkey; out of sight, out of mind; see no evil, eat no evil...
To read more, visit my blog
