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I'm a Christian, wife, mom, and M.D.(Psychiatrist.)  I blog about marriage, motherhood, and more.   My goal?  To help women nurture he...
 
 
 
 

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Sometimes, I Could Do With A Time-Out Myself

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I think it’s fair to say that as moms, we start out the day with the best intentions.

We want to raise our kids the right way. We want to affirm them, empower them, yet give them the boundaries that they’ll surely come up against in the real world.

So where does losing my cool (a gracious way of putting it!) fit into this picture?

I know when it’s coming. So do the kids. I’m getting progressively more irritated. My tone has gone from amiable, to neutral, to edgy. Body language -- not good. Thoughts -- not cheerful. Even as I bark out the command, order, or consequence, I realize that it’s not being done in a helpful way. Or even in a nice way.

Sometimes, I’m learning, I just need a time out.

There are just times when I can’t hang it all together as a mom. I don’t want to be reasonable. I don’t feel like being sweet. I want the outcome to be exactly as I say, and I want it now. I don’t want to explain myself or even be fair. I just want it done because I’m the parent! Yes, I wish for the old days when children were seen and not heard -- at least for 30 minutes!

Anyone else?

Those are the times, I’m learning, when it might be good for me to take a time-out myself.

the official kensington time-out chair

Because I’m not perfect. I don’t always have it together. Sometimes, the gang is just going to have to wait while I gather myself a little better.

I’ll go and take time with my Heavenly father. He listens patiently to my complaints, concerns, and regrets. He reminds me that He is slow to anger with me. Can I extend that grace to my own children in the current situation?

Then I can return to my family, ready to keep trying.

Isn’t that what so much of love is about?

The commitment to keep trying, even in the face of all that imperfection.

Question: What about you? Do you ever take a time out from your family? Does it help?

Warmly,

                                                         *                    *                    *

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas.  You can share in the comment box!

Dr. Ann is a Christian M.D., wife to a fantastic husband, and mom to a lively gang of three.  At The Marriage Checklist Ann blogs about marriage, motherhood, and more!  She helps women build better life balance and grow great marriages.  Ann blogs on Crosswalk.com, and has been featured on BlogHer.com, Fox news, and Good Morning America.  She loves that every day we can choose to take our best steps forward – for God, for the people in our lives, and for ourselves

You can read more from Dr. Ann at TheMarriageChecklist.com, on Facebook, or on Twitter.

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Are you ready then?  Let’s go!

Copyright 2012

Photo Credit: pwbaker.

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TheOrangeRhino 5 pts

Hi! Great post...and yes I've been taking lots of timeouts. I have 4  under 5 and discovered I was yelling too much. So I gave it up for 365 days. I am on day 43 of not yelling or as I have discovered, 43 days of yelling more. It is HARD but now that mommy is taking a few breathers, and some time outs, life is better for everyone!!! 

cdnkaro 41 pts

I definitely need time-outs from time to time (I have 4 kids aged 4 and under). It's when I can't get them that things build up, and that's never a good thing. Thanks for the reminder:)

Dr.Ann 5 pts

 cdnkaro Four under four!  You're my hero : ) Hang in there, and blessings!

~Ann

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The Marriage Checklist by Dr. Ann
The Marriage Checklist by Dr. Ann

Great stories! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one embracing my inner time out. Don't let the kids in on our secret!

Polish Mama on the Prairie
Polish Mama on the Prairie

Sometimes, my father comes over to hang out with us and my kids will try "tattling" on me, he'll see my frazzled face and say "OK, Mama go to timeout!" I practically skip down the hall to sit in a quiet dark room alone while he plays with the kids in the living room. Love time outs!

Susan Heidi Wolman
Susan Heidi Wolman

If I could only take one

Ann M Godfrey
Ann M Godfrey

Excellent article

Elizabeth Van Jacob
Elizabeth Van Jacob

I gave myself a time-out a couple of times when I lost my temper. My girls LOVED it. I let them determine its length. When they told me I could get up, I said that I needed more time and asked them to bring me my knitting.

Donna White
Donna White

You should feel no guilt for taking the time to clear your head and calm down. Every mom and/or dad feels the need to step back and re-assess (sp?). All parents Be proud of yourself for not making rash decisons possibly causing harmful emotional and/or physical trauma when stepping away and taking a few mins for yourself will help everyone involved.

SpokesMoms.com
SpokesMoms.com

This is really great. Some mom's really feel guilty when they feel the need to take a time out. Curious how you get around it. Would love some feedback for our followers.