Sometimes I Cry: A Letter to my Daughter

Dear Natty-Bear,

Welcome to the world, sweetheart! This is my first letter to you since you arrived and changed everything about my life just over three weeks ago. I can’t believe it has been that long already. Everyday you change more and more. Your eyes are big, beautiful and wide – I love staring into them as you open them more each day. I love you so much. So. Very. Much. Even though I’m super tired some days, every morning I can’t wait to see your face and hold you and kiss you.

Yesterday was a tough one for both of us, wasn’t it? You cried a lot and so did I. It’s hard for me to watch your little body writhe and squirm in pain or discomfort and to hear you cry/scream at the top of your lungs. It’s hard for me to feel so helpless – to not know what’s wrong…and to not be able to make it all better. The last three weeks have been full of ups and downs as your dad and I have worked to get to know you and you, us. There have been great days, hard days, and in-between days…but we’re here taking it all one step at a time. What I’ve realized so far is that being a mommy is not an easy job and not without its challenges. I want so badly to be everything you need me to be and more. I promise to always do my best and to try hard for you. That includes getting up, saying my prayers, taking a shower (believe me, it matters!) and simply working hard to meet your needs. But with that effort, I’ve also realized that sometimes I’ll cry in the process when I’m feeling overwhelmed. And that’s okay. Your dad and I both just want to give you the world and make you happy. I’m prayerful that you can feel that when we hold you – even if we don’t know right away what to do to help.

Just so you know, I’m doing much better today than I was yesterday. I called your doctor this morning and it turns out that you just might have a bad case of gas, which is why your tummy may hurt a little and why you cried so much. We’re going to give you some stuff called gripe water, which hopefully will make you feel a little better. I apologize in advance if it tastes nasty!

Well baby girl, this was all that was on my heart right at this moment. You are drifting off to sleep after having just eaten, and I pray sweet dreams for you as you rest.

Love, Hugs, and Kisses,

Your Yeyo

Read more as I experience motherhood for the first time at The Yeyo Diaries.

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