Sometimes I try to be a proper normal parent

Blimey, things have been so bloody hectic recently that I have been struggling to create the time to write my blog. But, I have to say that the root cause of the problem is generally me, so I can't complain too vehemently. For example, on Monday, I said to Izzy; "would you like a friend to come round to our house for dinner and a playdate?"

"Yes!!!" Izzy shouted, jumping up and down with joy. That reaction always makes me feel like a pumped up Mother Theresa.

"Ok," I said, "go and choose a friend whilst you are at school today, and then I will speak to their Mum and ask them if they can come over."

I thought no more of it until I collected Izzy from school.

"So Iz," I said, "have you chosen a friend to come over for a playdate?"

"Yes," said Izzy, all wide-eyed and innocent looking.

"So who have you picked?" I asked her.

"Honey and Joleen and Joe," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Jeez Iz, that's three friends," I pointed out.

"I know," she said, "and I have asked them all if they want to come and they all said yes."

My first thought was Sacre Bleu! How the bloody hell will I entertain four kids? But then I thought about it a bit, and realised that all the kids she had invited were little gems. How hard could it be?

"Let's go for it Iz!" I said. And if I had had a charger, I would have thrust it forth at that point. But I didn't, so I didn't.

Today was the day of the playdate and I was feeling properly Gung ho. I marched down to the school to pick Izzy and her erstwhile friends up, and scarcely a minute had passed before my Gung ho-ness got popped. Four kids were stood in front of me; all with school bags, lunch bags, coats, car seats and other random bits of kit.

Shit a bloody brick. It was panning out to be a logistical exercise of mammoth proportions; on a par with crossing the Serengeti without water or a camel or a map.

You know what though? I have got grit in my veins, so I was bloody determined to get those kids safely into the car (with all their kit). Yes, I was bent double like a Russian Serf as I toiled up the hill next to the school, carrying a million schoolbags. But hey! I got there and I got back to my house with all the children intact.

Once we arrived, it was like discharging a giant-sized party-popper; All the car doors burst open, and kids and kit, and random shit burst forth, swamping my house and garden.

Pic.No.1. The lovely Honey and Joleen cooking me a barbeque


Pic.No.2. From left to right; Joe, Izzy, Honey and Joleen - all little gemsters! They are playing a very complicated game which involves helicopters, fire engines and mummies and daddies and... doctors.


Pic.No.3. This was my favourite funny bit ... they all sat around the table discussing cartoons as though it was a political debate

So after 3 hour of entertaining four kids, how did things go? Well, I can safely say that kids are like a herd of locusts...... they can very quickly pare your whole life down to the things that they consider important  - like fake plastic barbeques and polyester princess outfits. And all the other irrelevancies are discarded along the way (the 'way' being my living room, hall and stairs).

So all in all, it was lovely having the house alive with the sound of kids enjoying themselves, but I must admit, I did feel like the 'old woman who lived in a shoe, who had so many children she didn't know what to do.....' lah de dah de dah!

Either that or I am like the Pied Piper of Hamlin, except that I woo kids rather than rats.

Annie (Lady M) x

Anne Dickens | The day after yesterday


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